The Scientist
Moira returns to Queen Consolidated, Isabel points out the obvious and the really irritating Barry Allen from Central City shows up to annoy. The slovenly looking Barry is rodent looking. Moira is a capitalist nightmare and Felicity is in love with Barry, her crush on Oliver forgotten - did the Laurel actress kick up a stink behind the scenes or something?
Hedonist Oliver wants to throw a party, Barry Allen talks too much; Felicity wears way too much blusher and is this a backdoor pilot for a spin-off? I hope not, because Barry is a flickering construct not a character. Sin shows up, she is less terrible than Barry. Malcolm lurks, he seems to not care that Tommy is decomposing in the Starling City cemetery. Oliver gets his ass kicked by one of Brother Blood’s crew. Oliver mutters that Ivo is dead, that he burned the serum and that he stopped a super soldier before.
Hedonist Oliver wants to throw a party, Barry Allen talks too much; Felicity wears way too much blusher and is this a backdoor pilot for a spin-off? I hope not, because Barry is a flickering construct not a character. Sin shows up, she is less terrible than Barry. Malcolm lurks, he seems to not care that Tommy is decomposing in the Starling City cemetery. Oliver gets his ass kicked by one of Brother Blood’s crew. Oliver mutters that Ivo is dead, that he burned the serum and that he stopped a super soldier before.
Barry spews a sob story back-story, Felicity whines and sulks, Moira is billy no mates, Oliver breaks ties with Roy and Moira claims Ra’s al Ghul wants to kill Malcolm. It seems the undertaking broke the League of Assassins code of honour. Oliver gets beat down and needle stuck. Felicity brings Barry to the arrow cave; yeah bring in the dignity and courage free moron. Stupid show. I did not like this at all.
Flashbacks to the island show Oliver and his gang finding the submarine and the shooting up the crispy Slade with the super solider serum. Why hadn’t the serum evaporated since WW2? Poor Slade.
Best Lines:
“I shampooed it without eight women and a guard watching.”
“She was acquitted.”
“By a jury. Not by the city.”
“Do your parents know that you’re here?”
“One very strong guy.”
“Pray I’m wrong.”
“You killed Tommy. You killed your son.”
“You made me the man I am today.”
“He’s not who he says he is.”
“They will not stop him.”
“It hurt them. Badly.”
“How do you know that name?”
“”Run.”
“How are we supposed to explain this?”
~
Pride Comes Before A Brawl
I finally caught up with this ep I missed before. Thanks to some serious false witnessing, Amanda ends up directing the church musical. Where are her children in all this? Her odd relationship with the good Christian bitches drags on as Carlene and Cricket both want the lead role of the Holy Spirit.
Sharon asks Gigi to help her flog her biblical diet plan ‘Losing it with Jesus’ on a shopping channel. Rip plays Jesus in the tacky musical. Amanda lets her mean girl out and then has to grovel. Carlene naturally ends up playing the Holy Spirit due to her big Broadway voice and then has a flight harness malfunction that sends her through some stained glass. This was okay.
Best Lines:
“I was a former head cheerleader. If I can control a dozen teenage girls, I can choreograph some dancing loaves and fishes.”
“You know how many eating disorders you left in your wake?”
“I don’t audition. I’m always just given the lead. It’s tradition.”
“People are still talking about my burning bush.”
“Lord if you are willing, make me less gross.”
“I just adore my crocodile toilet seat cover.”
“That outfit you got on looks like Tinkerbell threw up on it.”
“The devil’s sugary temptations.”
“You couldn’t become a star even if Hollywood was destroyed by a meteor.”
~
The Rave
Who named the town after an Irish death omen? The new Lucas Hood recalls how he was arrested. Carrie sells real estate and takes serious combat training. Carrie’s slattern daughter Deva exhales CGI dope smoke and is one of those Fun Loving White Girls Looking To Get Raped that show up in this sort of show. Lucas Hood has no clue how to be sheriff, he can’t fill in paperwork and he’s got a violence problem. The real Lucas Hood has an estranged wife and son whom I’m sure will come into play at some point. There is awkward small talk, the Moody clan are violent idiots and Lucas Hood knocks boots with Rebecca an Amish girl who likes to party. Deva goes to a rave in barn, someone overdoes, Lucas Hood mumbles and Kai Proctor feeds someone to his dog. This was crappy with bad acting.
Best Lines:
“Shoo! Go get pregnant!”
“Being where you are makes you the dumbest bitch I know.”
“His brothers are drunker than usual, if that’s possible. Now we’re already had two fistfights. That’s just between family members.”
“They’re drunk and they’re morons.”
~
Blood Is Thicker
A girl is murdered and she has a connection to a Steve Jobs expy named Ian Gale (William Sadler) who is dying. Watson is still in repulsed awe of Holmes. Mycroft encourages Holmes to move back to London by bringing up eviction and trust fund issues. Gregson and Bell are the only cops in NY. Ian Gale’s lawyer is the guy who played Damar on ’Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’. The murders are resolved via an ass pull resolution. This was bad; the only interesting part was the final scene that suggests that Mycroft is plotting something. Who would blame him? His brother is annoying.
Best Lines:
“I’m going to call all of my attorneys.”
“Having never milked a moose. I imagine one must catch it in the right mood.”
“He literally picked you up off the street.”
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