epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Curtain: Poirot’s Last Case + Dracula 1x03 Reviewed

Curtain: Poirot’s Last Case (2013)
Captain Hastings (Hugh Fraser) and Poirot reunite at Styles, which is now a grim and grubby guest house. When this show started in 1989, Poirot was a dandy with an art deco apartment, now he’s a misery guts crippled by arthritis. Hastings’ awful daughter Judith lurks and a rich boor (a wasted Philip Glenister) wanders in and out of rooms to no real purpose.

Also hanging around is Dr Franklin and his malingering wife, the shrew owner and her henpecked husband plus some slick smoothies. Poirot and Hastings recount how they met in 1916 and people talk about murder cases. Poirot talks to himself, there is a shooting and a death and Judith is a moron as she talks like a Nazi philosophy student.

Characters have empathy voids, Hastings has male insecurity and trust issues and a character stirs people’s propensity for violence by manipulation. Still there is no sheer menace in this no matter how dark and edgy it tries to be. There is more death, Hastings broods and a letter reveals the truth of what was going on. Women’s sexuality is the root of all evil apparently. Poirot dealt with the killer and match made for Hastings and sported a false moustache. This was okay as Poirot’s moral sermonising comes to its inevitable conclusion.

Best Lines:
“Some people just ask to be murdered.”

“The food it is disgusting.”

“That was pretty ghastly.”

“Blasted pigeons.”

“Blasting the old bunny eh Hastings? Darn good fun.”

“At it again are you?”

“I will damn you to hell whatever the cost.”

“I happen to know something pretty foul about him actually.”

“Fix me an egg flip.”

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know.”

“You have lard for a brain.”

“I smelt as you say: the rat!”

~
Goblin Merchant Men
Flashbacks show how Vlad was tortured and turned into a vampire by the Order of the Dragon as he had visions of his dead wife named Ilona. What is the Order of the Dragon ‘s motives?

Mina’s father runs a loony bin. Lady Jane continues her porn-industry complaint definition of life. Renfield has the measure of Harker and everyone else - what is his deal? Lucy wants to comfort Mina and so they party among the Bohemian nightlife. Lucy and Mina hang out with romantic poets and get high while wearing clothes that resemble the lingerie chosen by French politicians’ mistresses.

The Order of the Dragon are ridiculous. Harker really doesn’t want Mina to have a job, Grayson points out his hypocrisy. Van Helsing kills the seers. Dracula learns Lady Jane’s secrets and shows off his tattoos. Is Van Helsing a member of the Order of the Dragon? What is Van Helsings agenda? Grayson reunites Mina and Harker. I’m sure that’ll work out well. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“What an awful twit he turned out to be.”

“Harker’s a horrible man, best forgotten.”

“Sometime science requires sacrifice.”

“Soon London will be crawling with the vermin.”
Tags: dracula, poirot
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