epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Retro Review: Star Trek Enterprise (2001 - 2005) Season 2

The year the show imploded. It would not recover until halfway through season 4 and by then it was too late.

Shockwave part 2
The Suliban bore.

Carbon Creek
A tale of Vulcans in a mining town in 1957. Boring.

The ship makes first contact with a hostile new species: the Romulan Star Empire. This was the best episode they ever did. Reed is in peril and it is heavily implied that T’Pol knows who the Romulans really are. This was creepy and unnerving. Naturally TPTB never did the Earth/Romulan war onscreen and it was left to the novels.

Dead Stop
To fix the damage from ‘Minefield’, Archer heads to a fully automated alien repair station. Good.

A Night In Sickbay
Archer messes up a diplomatic mission by being xenophobic and obsessing over his dog. This was crap.

This boring crap is a rip off of every Clint Eastwood western ever made.

The Seventh
A T’Pol back-story ep. Dull.

The Communicator
Reed loses his communicator on a pre-warp planet and no doubt triggers a genoicdal civil war. The crew are stupid and this is a dumb rip off of the TOS ep ’A Piece of the Action’.

Comedy cosmic radiation gives the crew OCD. Reed invents red alert, T’Pol and Archer do their version of Spock’s death scene from ‘Wrath of Kahn’ in Archer’s shower and the ship has a climatic trip through a trinary system that looks like they’re flying through a clogged u-bend from a toilet cleaner commercial. This was awful.

Vanishing Point
Hoshi dreams. Awful.

Precious Cargo
This offensively bad episode was utterly unoriginal with bad writing and bad acting.

The Catwalk
A recycled plot about a space anomaly. Dull.

A rip-off of ‘Enemy Mine’.

Vulcans hate mind melders and T’Pol is one. Why melders are such pariahs in this era isn’t clear. Dull.

Cease Fire
Archer ends the Andorian/Vulcan cold war. The Andorians on this show don’t have four sexes. Gary Graham looks bored. This was a yawner.

Future Tense
A ship from 900 years in the future is found. The Suliban are at Kazon levels of lameness, Tholians show up and this was good.

This is a crap rip-off of a VOY ep.

The Crossing
Crewmembers get possessed in this inane ep.

This rips off ‘Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country’ and the DS9 ep ’Rules of Engagement’ when Archer ends up before a Klingon tribunal. This was silly.

This Mayweather ep had no plot.

The Breach

A rip-off of the movie version of ’The Handmaid’s Tale’. Tucker tries to help an oppressed alien broodmare; Archer screws it up with his moronic specifying.

The Borg sphere from ’Star Trek: First Contact’ is found in the arctic. The Borg wake up and are defeated by Archer punching one in the head. This was utterly wrong on so many levels.

First Flight
A tale of the early days of Starfleet’s warp programme told in flashback. Flawed.

Archer is abducted by a Tellerite (Ed O’Ross) and T’Pol is sent into Pon Farr in this sleazy, disgusting, offensive, nasty, misogynistic crap.

The Expanse
After the endless ripped off plots, continuity violations, ugly sexism, bad acting and terrible writing: the show was retooled heading into season 3 with this ep. Earth is attacked by a new species, the Xindi so the crew head into the Delphic Expanse to find the Xindi. This was lame.

Best Line:
“Let’s see what’s in there.”
Tags: star trek

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