Dracula (2013 - 2014) 1x01
The Blood Is The Life
In 1881 Romania, Dracula (Jonathan Rhys Meyers of ‘The Tudors’) is freed from a prison. In London 1896 Dracula is pretending to be Alexander Grayson, an American industrialist who lives in Carfax Manor. Various women in historically inaccurate costumes run around panting after him among them Lucy (Katie McGrath and her bad bleach job), vampire hunting harlot Lady Jane (Victoria Smurfit) and boring medical student Mina. Grayson promotes electricity while sporting a bizarre US accent, awful people have seriously hostility to Grayson and a group of bad people known as The Order Of The Dragon do bad things and have done for centuries. The goob Jonathan Harker is a journalist. This has nice opening credits, Dracula chews on some people and it is revealed that Jack The Ripper was invented to cover up a vampire rampaging through Whitechapel.
This was okay. Grayson hides his aversion to sunlight, the boring Mina may be Dracula’s reincarnated wife and Lady Jane keeps a vampire in a cage in her cellar. The Order Of The Dragon don’t like vampires and enjoy torturing them instead of killing them. Scenes are copied from ‘Daredevil’ and ‘The Prestige’, Grayson has an unexpected ally and a plan is in motion. I’m intrigued for now. Who imprisoned Dracula in that iron box?
“After all these long years, how famished you must be.”
“How distressingly American.”
“Readily identified by their overtly grotesque sense of entitlement.”
“This empire of lies.”
“I was concerned that as an American that you might not understand the meaning of the word discreet.”
“I had to look it up.”
Stumpy’s Brae (2013)
This BBC2 Halloween offering is an adaptation of the poem by Cecil Francis Alexander. A bad adaptation with scare chords and incomprehensible lingo. A peasant and his wife have their savings stolen by thugs. An old peddler shows up looking for shelter and they kill him and chop him up. All to steal his tat because the wife wants to go to America. The odious people get theirs and the wife is worse than any common woman. This was rubbish.
Keen is agitated and distressed about Tom being low-life scum. The adoption is still on however and the Keen’s are being watched. The scrubber of the week is the courier (Robert Knepper of ‘Prison Break’) who makes deliveries and kills people. There is a car chase with bad green screen, a hilarious “put your hands up” scene and Ressler pretends to be a violent thug. An NSA analyst has been buried alive by the courier. Said courier has a shocking abusive back-story. Tom has found where his wife hid the stash. The FBI dance to Raymond’s tune. Raymond has an adversary and the blacklist is all part of a masterplan to find said enemy. This was okay.
“They replace trust with fear and the threat of violence.”
“Capable of the occasional moment of tenderness which likely brings on the desire to stay up all night watching Asian porn.”
“Not my blood.”
“That’s something else entirely.”
“She tried to strangle me with a stocking.”
“You don’t want me to answer that.”
Amanda was humiliated by Nikita not murdering her and wants vengeance. Ari’s idiot son Stefan is stupid. Owen bores. Alex still has no reaction to Ari. Owen shouts. Stefan is dumb. Everyone is stupid and Amanda maybe reveals who made her. This was crap. Alex is in peril from Amanda but I don’t care.
He therefore had no life to return to.”
“Maybe the real Amanda’s worse.”
“Then we both die a horrible death.”
“I did throw you off a balcony.”
Life and Death
The final ever ep. What happened to Moretti? It’s not mentioned. The shooting does not seem to violate Constantine’s parole. Constantine’s Robert Duvall and some of his crew are dead. Agent York finally resurfaces as does Franco. Grace’s mother dies. Constantine tells Grace he is her father. Grace has no interest in her half brother Luke. Grace’s boss finally points out she is compromised and that he has known all along what she was up to. Grace makes a deal with the cartel on behalf of Constantine. She finally realises what a foul man he is when he reveals he plans to break the deal. So she kills him and runs off to Mexico with Franco. So she abandons Nate who faces 20 years or so in jail, she turns her back on her nurse friend and Brett, her job, her career and her good name all for the lying greaser Franco. This was okay but the ending was awful. Franco was as awful as Constantine. Grace had to face consequences. But this ending was rubbish. Grace was selfish to the end.
“Be the man you pretend to be.”
“I can’t allow it. Not anymore.”
“You can’t prove anything.”
“Actually I can.”