Broken Dolls
A killer Lance put away years earlier escaped from prison due to the undertaking and now is killing people. Felicity has been sexed up, the scrub turkey face Laurel is allergic to sleeves and has shiny, unmoving skin and a pointy chin. Moira plays martyr. Lance renames the Hood the Arrow and somehow fails to realise the Arrow is Oliver. A woman named Sin lurks. Diggle, Felicity and Oliver don’t seem to have jobs. A plot point revolves around skin scream made from crushed mother-of-pearl. The Starling City cops seem inept, the DA seeks the death penalty for Moira, the Canary hangs out in a clock tower and the sneering Laurel decides not to be anti-Arrow anymore. It seems she finally realises Tommy’s death was her fault. Moira still has secrets and her lawyer (Teryl Rothery of ’SG1’ and ’Profit’) has a horrible haircut. The Canary and her tatas does gymnastics and Ra’s al Ghul is mentioned. Is to be played by Liam Neeson? In flashback Slade growls and Oliver ends up in yet more trouble. This was bad and would the cops really keep a serial killer’s escape secret?
Best Lines:
“He has another shoulder.”
“Maybe you’re an idiot.”
“I’m tired of living here. Aren’t you?”
“Get him! Get him!”
“Miss Queen has languished in the Iron Heights prison for five months.”
“And in those five months did the 503 people she’s charged with killing miraculously return from the dead?”
“A guy with a bow and arrow can’t save a guy who’s had a building fall on top of him.”
“Nice mask.”
“Going after bad guys is so last year.”
“To her I am the bad guy.”
“Since when?”
“Since I didn’t make it to Tommy in time.”
“A sonic thing.”
“Let her play with her corpse.”
~
Agatha Christie’s Poirot: Dead Man’s Folly (2013)
An adaptation of the 1956 novel which I really like. The annoying Poirot (David Suchet hamming it up) is summoned to Nasse House where a planned murder mystery is leading to a real murder. Poirot stomps around as class snobbery is rampant, people with ‘foreign’ accents lurk and people develop word vomit around him.
The characters include guttural growler George Stubbs (Sean Pertwee) who has bad hair and ugly clothes, his really stupider wife Hattie (Stephanie Leonidas), Mrs Oliver (Zoë Wanamaker) a batty writer, an annoying beatnik, a doddery old man, George’s secretary Miss Brewis who hates Hattie, the displaced Nasse House chatelaine Mrs Folliat, the utterly superfluous Sally Legge and Hattie’s visiting cousin Etienne De Souza who can’t act.
The fake victim in the murder mystery is murdered for real, Hattie vanishes, Inspector Bland (Tom Ellis) shows up and is ignored as the carbo-loaded Poirot and his ridiculous moustache solves the over elaborate case of murder and criminal impersonation off screen as someone is wrongly accused and faces a fast trial. This was good even if they changed the ending. This is an improvement especially after Suchet mangled ‘Halloween Party‘ and ‘Death on the Nile’ and utterly ruined ‘Cat Among the Pigeons‘ and ‘Murder on the Orient Express’. However there are plot holes in this: wouldn’t there be photographs of the alleged victim? How does the arrogant, shouting Poirot get away with barging into the case and causing the final tragedy? How could a character just stand idly by as murders were committed? Why does a murder victim’s sister not seem to care their sister is dead? Why didn’t the old soak speak up before he was murdered? How does Poirot get away with being a moral arbiter? What was the purpose of the wannabe posers lurking around Nasse House? So much death, despair and dissolution could have been avoided if someone had just spoken up sooner.
Best Lines:
“Foreigners, can’t read a map.”
“There are some very strange people here.”
“Awfully rich and awfully common.”
"Tea is stupid.”
“Girls in little short trousers.”
“London nonsense.”
“She was fine. Moronic but fine.”
“Working for those lunatics has driven me to drink.”
“I don’t think Cousin Hattie has the mental capacity for writing letters.”
“What on earth possessed him to marry her?”
“We’ve some kind of psychological lunatic wandering freely in Devon.”
“I’ll throttle the ponce with his ridiculous tie!”
“Bon.”
“Hid ‘em in her knicker drawer.”
“He came back.”
“I like sex maniacs. I’ve read about them.”
“I do not think you would like to meet one.”
~
Resurrection
Grace and Dr Wilcox deal with a Lazarus patient. Constantine wants to protect his idiot bastard son Luke but a cartel is after him. Grace learns a mobster’s girlfriend is trans. Franco is still AWOL. Nate is nowhere to be seen. This ep was annoying like Jake Bugg. Luke oozes self pity. The cartel show up and gun down the grizzled face Constantine and several minions. A cliff-hanger to lead into the final ever ep.
Best Lines:
“What exactly happened in there?”
“We have no idea.”
~
Solve For X
Watson tries to be a good friend to an entitled brat (Jeremy Jordan of 'Supergirl'), but there is a limit. Holmes annoys. Watson broods. A math problem leads to murder. Watson talks about the patient whose death caused her to stop being a surgeon. The murderer learns scheming is a lonely business. This was dire. Where is Mycroft?
Best Lines:
“About as useful as a pet rock.”
“The river smells like rancid cod.”