epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: SWAT + Journey To The Center Of The Earth

SWAT (2003)
A violent bank robbery goes awry thanks to hotshot cops Street (Colin Farrell) and Gamble (Jeremy Renner of ‘Avengers’, ‘Thor’, ‘Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol’ and ‘Hansel & Gretel: Witchhunters’). Street (and his slipping accent) is disgraced and Gamble stomps off to do bad things. Hondo (Samuel L. Jackson) shows up to form a new SWAT team and gives Street a chance to redeem himself. So Street, Sanchez (Michelle Rodriguez of ‘Lost’), Deacon (LL Cool J) and TJ (Josh Charles of ‘The Good Wife’) form a new team. After a long dull training session, they have to escort a sleazy French drug dealer (Oliver Martinez) to jail. The evil frog promises $100 million dollars to whoever busts him out. And all the would be claimants come crawling out of the woodwork.

Gamble and a traitor on the team try to rescue evil frog and Street and co must foil their evil plans. It all comes to a climax as a lear jet lands on a bridge and Street attempts to stop Gamble and his permasneer of determinism. Meanwhile their boss Captain Fuller (Larry Poindexter of ‘Blade: The Series’) is unhelpful. This was dull even if Renner plays a good baddie.

Best Lines:
“Busting down doors with J’Lo.”

“You’re like a goddam rash!”

“I’m taking Frenchie here up on his offer.”

“Let’s go hunting.”

“Follow that jet!”

“I saw a Lear jet about to land on the 6th Street Bridge.”

“Here’s where watching ‘The World’s Most Exciting Police Chases’ pays off.”

“Frog’s running!”

Journey To The Center of the Earth (2008)
Trevor (the boiled bacon faced Brendan Fraser), his surly nephew Sean (Josh Hutcherson of ’Detention’ and ’The Hunger Games’) and some woman fall into the centre of the Earth whilst trying to find Sean’s long lost dad. Cue bad CGI, Brendan Fraser screaming, killer Venus flytraps, a dinosaur and violation of the laws of physics. This was dull and sappy.

Best Line:
“We’re still falling!”
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