Dr Franklin Hall (Ian Hart doing a bad US accent) is abducted. He chews the scenery and vomits it back in viewer’s faces. By the end he turns into Graviton thanks to Coulson's controlling petulant pronounced megalomania tendencies.
Ward is an insufferable prat, Skye is maddeningly smug and indolent and this was so bad I wonder if some sort of parodic intent is at work. The gang run around Malta trying to foil some dude’s evil plans to use distorted gravity fields. The female agents with the exception of May flick their hair extensions. Ward spills his sob story back-story. It is strongly suggested that Coulson was indeed killed by Loki, so what is running around with is face? This episode was acutely boring. Coulson creates a supervillain, nice going moron. Skye gets wet, jiggly and tells a sob story - oh Joss Whedon and his ‘feminism’. The scare chord stinger was more bad SFX.
“20 years, 12 mines, 6 continents, but yes, I finally found it.”
“To bury it at the bottom of the ocean, with him.”
“Quinn likes to feel smart.”
The Freelancer (no.145)
Raymond strides around to unsubtle music codes - he’s bad don’t you know. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Tom Keen is in a coma and then he isn’t. Idiot bureaucrats try to deal with the Raymond mess. Keen’s hair has changed from the pilot. An assassin is on the loose. A social justice campaigner (it’s her from ‘Death Becomes Her’) has secrets. Why is Raymond doing all this? Keen keeps Tom’s stash a secret. Agent Ressler stews. A CIA agent named Meera Malik (it’s her from ‘Alcatraz’) shows up to join the gang. There is a boring chase scene and a twist. Keen wields a pen and characters have secrets. This was mediocre, a real come down after 1x01.
“I would send ambulances.”
“A simple nod will suffice.”
“What is it with you and hotel rooms and pens in people’s necks?”
The Endless Thirst
The bland plastic people of Chester’s Mill face a shortage due to the lake being polluted with methane. People finally notice something terrible is taking place in the background and the food riot from the book takes place, sort of. Alice has no insulin, Norrie decides to steal some. The hideously noxious Junior/Angie plot drags on. A tetchy farmer has a well. Julia and Dodee chase a signal. Someone is murdered and the Dome may be sentient. Someone notes the Dome has its own microclimate. Barbie and Julia make out. This was dire.
“I’ve been warming up cans of soup in my fireplace.”
“You backwoods son of a bitch.”
“Cross me and we’ll see who stands where.”
Brave New world
Nikita stomps after a doctor (John Billingsley) who may be able to grow Michael a new hand; after all he used to supply Division with their spy-fi stuff. Ryan and his smug eyebrows is turning into Percy 2.0. Everyone is bitter and angry. Alex annoys. A crazy politician is crazy. Nikita is captured, the doctor is a mere minion and Michael catches a knife with his fake hand. This was okay even if it was all for nothing in the end.
“The official story is he was receiving treatment for minor injuries after being attacked by his pet tiger.”
“What is this guy, a Bond villain?
“He even made a joke this morning.”
“Was it funny?”
Constantine wants Franco dead. Russell King has walked off his near death and is setting up business in Chicago. Franco is really stupid. A priest thinks he is possessed but he actually has rabies. Constantine annoys. A punk kid is in peril. Grace and everyone else are dumb. This was not good.