epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Holdout + He Was A Quiet Man

Holdout (2012)
This New Zealand short zombie movie set in 2024 for some reason is kind of crap. Two teenage boys who can’t act hang around a suburb killing zombies in bad makeup. Then a girl shows up and some bizarre love triangle mess ensues. There are two boys and one girl and that’s about as much as we know about them. The zombies aren’t an almost sentient menace, the three actors are mush mouths who wouldn’t even get a job on ‘Neighbours’, the world building makes no sense and the tragic ending is laughably bad. This is awful. Avoid.

Best Line:
“You going to come fight some zombies with us today?”

He Was A Quiet Man (2007)
In an oppressive office, balding nutter Bob (Christian Slater trying desperately to make this his ‘Falling Down’) hates his colleagues and lives in a state of alienation and near-hysteria. Bob plans to kill his hated colleagues but another pissed off co-worker beats him to it and guns down the office drones. Bob kills the other nutter and is hailed as a hero. Bob is now supping at the last chance saloon as so far people are somehow unaware of his dangerous ideology. He raises no alarm despite his obvious hatred of sociocultural moral norms. He romances a paralyzed co-worker who nutter number 2 shot and a bizarre ending ensues. This was bizarre and not very good.

Best Line:
“Vanessa? I thought it was that Paula bitch.”
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