epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Review: Vanishing Act (1986)

This is a classic but oddly forgotten TV movie. While on his honeymoon in a remote Rocky Mountains small town, Harry Kenyon (Mike Farrell of ‘M*A*S*H’, ‘Providence’ and ‘Supernatural’) reports his new wife missing to displaced NY cop Rudameyer (Elliott Gould of ’Contagion’, ’The Cape’, ’Friends’, ’E/R’, ’Capricorn One’ and ’Who?’). Then friendly Father Macklin (Fred Gwynne) produces Chris (Lois Kidder of ‘Smallville’, ‘Superman’, ‘Black Christmas’ and ‘The Amityville Horror’) who is eager to reunite with Harry. But Harry declares this woman is not is fact his wife. Rudameyer and his big fluffy earmuffs does not want to be involved in a domestic dispute and sends them back to their honeymoon cabin to work it out.

Harry spews sexist remarks. Chris knows everything that Harry’s wife would know and try as he might, Harry can’t trip her up. Even the dog likes her. Accusations and vitriol are flung around. Harry keeps calling the eye rolling Rudameyer but Chris paints Harry as a lunatic. Chris and Harry sit in their horribly tacky ‘honeymoon’ shack plotting. Friendly Father Macklin acts weird, someone is running a scam and ominous events take place.

Harry is an idiot. There are issues about a ‘telex’. A villain speech is uttered. Who is the villain of the piece? Who is self serving with a savaged reputation? A character screams their way into the twist ending. A shrill voiced villain is caught. Never trust the personable and docile types; is the moral of this okay movie.

Best Lines:
“All the cops in town are at the parade?”

“Move back to New York.”

“This woman’s not my wife.”

“My old bath mat!”

“You can buy IDs on the criminal underground.”
“Harry you sound like a B movie.”

“I’ll get it.”
“Oh no you won’t!”

“Last I looked he was still breathing.”

“He was lying right there on the floor.”
“Why would he do a thing like that?”
“Because you drugged him. Or poisoned him. Not him. Me. But I gave it to him.”

“I have had quite enough of this.”

“Lab? This is the boonies Mr Kenyon, we don’t have a lab.”

“Uncontrollable rug wetting.”

“Where are you going light of my life? I have the car keys!”

“I wouldn’t let you near my taxes!”

“He’s a bigger idiot than I am.”
Tags: movie review, the cape
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