epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Blackout + Once Upon A Time 2x16 + Falling Skies 1x05&1x06&1x07&1x08 Reviewed

Blackout (2013)
This Channel 4 drama tried to recreate the creep factor of the old BBC drama ‘Smallpox 2002’ and failed utterly in every conceivable way. This crap mocumentary is about how the UK has a blackout that lasts five days due to an alleged cyber attack on the National Grid. Cue bad acting and nice middle class people being bullied by horrible working class yobos.

Everyone in this is an idiot. The fate of the people who were trapped on the London Eye is never addressed. Snaggle toothed chavs engage in food theft, fuel theft and end up killing themselves by accidentally blowing up a fuel depot. A self sufficiency nutter is bothered by his brat son, emasculating shrew wife and thieving neighbours. He beats a guy to death over a can of own brand dog food just as the power comes back on.

Why is everyone filming everything? Who are they talking to? Why is everyone sad and pathetic? Why does everyone jump into a car instead of waiting it out at home? There are damaged transformers, food panic, no ATMs, gridlock, no phone coverage and no water. It’s the 1970s all over again!

A woman and her bratty kid go up to Sheffield to see her idiot mother and they jump into a car with a petty criminal Cue mad screaming despite him being nice and helpful. All women in this are strife creating hysterics, all kids are brats who escalate problems and there is apparently only one BBQ in all of London.

Riots and looting erupt. Where are the army? Where is foreign aid? A hysterical woman screams over her comatose brother and snots at the nurses. Everyone is a selfish idiot. Can I laugh at this? I will. If you want true post-apoc stuff watch ‘Threads’ or series 2 of the original ‘Survivors’.

Best Lines:
“That’s how we roll in this country you know.”

“Biodegradable poo bags in our field toilet.”

“She’ll be forced to drink her own wee.”

“They can’t provide fuel for everybody.”

“There’s a man in the garden.”

“How can a whole bloody city be closed?”

“What a surprise. There is rioting going on.”

“Hello Laurie’s mum.”

“Where are we going to hunt for food? Hyde Park?”

~
The Miller’s Daughter
Flashbacks show how ‘young’ peasant Cora (Rose McGowan of ‘Scream’, ‘Jawbreaker’, ‘Planet Terror’ and ‘Charmed’) became what she is. She was bullied by Princess Eva (Snow White’s future mother), sneered at by a nasty King (Joaquim De Almedia) and Cora makes the unwise boast that she can spin straw into gold. The evil imp Rumpy teaches her how to spin straw into gold and she marries Prince Henry (who would be a doormat to her and their daughter). Posh Cora is all glitz, tits and class hatred. Why was Prince Henry such a doormat? The unlikeliest person taught Cora her love is weakness mantra. Also Rose McGowan’s face is a horror. What did she do to herself? In Storybrooke, everyone bases their actions on what Henry would think. Why? Regina is a boring one note villain. Ruby has no purpose. David is always unconscious. Belle is still whining. Someone finally kills Cora. This was good but sappy,

Best Lines:
“I’m resting.”
“You’re always resting.”

“I for once would like to able to eat this week.”

“The peasant fell. As they do.”

“What is the point of all this?”

“Good luck whoring your son.”

“Not a very pretty name is it? Sounds like something breaking.”

“I drew the invisible line. I think.”

“I don’t love your son.”
“I didn’t expect you to. Not much there to love frankly.”

~
Silent Kill
This was an awful sap filled piece of crap ep. Harris is a jerk and dies via skitter. Tom is Ben obsessed. Maggie hangs around being skanky and snaky. No-one is rescuing Karen. Rick is creepy. Hal comes up with a plan. Weaver has secrets. Anne kills the captive skitter and then does a really badly acted crying scene. Ben and other harnessed kids are ‘saved’.

Best Lines:
“Brain function at the level of a moderately sophisticated tomato.”

“They’ll kill you all.”

“I don’t know what’s crazy anymore. We’re fighting aliens from outer space.”

~
Sanctuary, part 1
Terry (Henry Czerny of ‘Revenge’) shows up, he is all that is left of the 7th Mass. He puts the 2nd Mass in even greater fear of discovery and says he will take their kids into hiding. A mech attacks making ‘War of the Worlds’ noises, Jimmy is in peril, Matt annoys, Ben is way too chatty and this bored even with the twist. Why are the no name Mason clan running the 2nd Mass?

~
Sanctuary, part 2
Terry and some other collaborators are handing kids over to the skitters. The kids of the 2nd Mass and Pope (who is played by that clean cut guy from ‘SG1’!) escape Terry and run. Rick annoys as the 2nd Mass kids hang out in an abandoned house. The house has beautiful Canadian oak wood flooring that does not have a speck of dust on it. Back at the 2nd Mass a pregnant woman does not know what the phase breech birth is but Weaver knows how to turn the baby. Hidden depths man, hidden depths. The kids are rescued and Pope rejoins the 2nd Mass.

Best Lines:
“How far out are we?”
“Far.”

~
What Lies Beneath
Weaver dreams. A major assault on the “skitter palace” over Boston is being planned. This is better than the ‘V’ remake. Ben’s mutating as a result of the harness. Hal, Weaver and Tom recon the alien structure over Boston and wonder what it is for. They also see new never seen before aliens which makes Tom wonder if they’ve misread the situation of who the true enemy is.

While strolling around ruined Boston they encounter a crazy old woman (Blair Brown of ‘Fringe’). Matt whines, Karen shows up, Weaver freaks out and visits his old home. Pope ups the Resistance’s game. Anne and Lourdes dissect the dead captive skitter and make a game changing discovery which Anne worries about telling people. This was good.

Best Lines:
“That is so three weeks ago.”

“We’ll bore the aliens to death.”

“They’re afraid of us.”

“Up until this point we’ve assumed that the skitters were command. Maybe we were wrong.”

“What worries me is that this is the first time we’ve seen them.”

“How did it go?”
“It went.”
Tags: falling skies, once upon a time, review
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