epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Five TV Reviews

The Mob Doctor 1x03

Protect and Serve
Dr Grace Devlin (subtle name that) treats car crash victims and then Constantine has her treat the hit and run driver. What became of Constantine’s diabetes? Grace lies and deceives. Nate is stupid and a jerk. Constantine plots. Mrs Devlin won’t parse out half truths and insinuations. Nate doesn’t care about the unhealthy situation he’s in. The sneering Nate should be left to his own filth and Constantine should retire to a cave. The greasy Franco lies. Dead daddy Devlin was a mob enforcer. Grace never sleeps. Constantine and Mrs Devlin have some sort of relationship. Constantine is into 3D TVs. This was boring. Nate embraces the seedy anti-glamour, perversion of morality and sinister hues of mob life. Grace is naively ignorant. There is an unexpected twist ending and all sorts of new agendas pop up.

Best Lines:
“He wanted a piece of what I had.”

“Power vacuums are filled.”

“It’s our job to make sure he has a life.”

“Mom’s going to spend every waking moment in occupational therapy. With any luck she will brush her own teeth by Christmas.”

“Just walk away.”

“There’s no more loyalty Franco, none.”

“He shot me and stole what’s mine.”

Nikita 3x03

True Believer
A Division agent is undercover in a cult named Third Wave. Nikita is dim and self centred. The cult targets a Senator for death. Alex goes undercover again despite saying she was ruined for undercover work in 3x01. Mia has been turned by the cult and gets violent. There is an improbable escape from a supermax prison. Nikita is stupid and self righteous. Mia hurls Nikita out a window. Sean is wallpaper and Nikita and Mia have a Not So Different moment. This was okay with a twist ending.

Best Lines:
“He has to go.”

“Are you willing to die for Division?”

“A bunch of hipsters who read too many books in college.”

“You don’t have it in you anymore.”

Once Upon A Time 2x14

Rumple’s flashback shows how he got out of the ogre wars in his fetish uniform and how his wife was an utter bitch. Meanwhile Cora and Regina bond and Rumple, Emma and Henry arrive in NY. Cora’s gained a new wardrobe, Hook is still ranting and to no-one’s surprise Baelfire turns out to be Emma’s babydaddy aka the junkie looking unwashed tool who left her to rot in jail. Emma overacts. That is one weird family tree. Where is August anyway? The flashbacks show Rumple’s encounters with a Seer in ridiculous makeup. Regina is disgusting, Rumple overacts, Henry is an idiot, Greg spies on the Storybrooke idiots, Hook is stupid and tantrums and the junkie Baelfire is smug. The brat Henry needs to shut up and Rumple has more secrets. This was horrid.

Best Lines:
“There are things called laws.”

“When the ogres rip you limb from limb, pray that it’s quick.”

“I don’t think he’s listening.”

“Why is everyone yelling?”

“What can be from what will be.”

“The boy will be your undoing.”
“Then I’ll just have to kill him.”

The Day After (1983), part 4
This was mumblecore before mumblecore. There is constant disruption and nobody has any ownership of any problems. There is egregious radiation sickness make up. It’s not the same grim fare as ‘Threads’. People lie around in overfilled shelters, where did they get all the baby cots? There is bad SFX of a ruined city. The dying intemperate doctor staggers out of the awful hospital and back to his house and finds squatters. Then they all have a cry as they realise they’re buried in the sludge. This was bad.

Best Line:
“Is anybody there? Anybody at all?”

Ball Trap On The Cote Sauvage (1989)
This BBC1 drama features on a nice middle class family (headed by Zoë Wanamaker) who holiday in a huge tacky campsite on the coast of Brittany (actually filmed in Cornwall). The nice middle class family make fun of and laugh at all the eccentrics around them such as the trashy family headed by a mad French woman (Miranda Richardson) and her crazy eyed husband.

Nobody seems to be really enjoying their stay at the campsite. The various eccentric campers sport dated attire and exchange barbs in this sweaty corner of France. The nice middle class family think up nicknames for their fellow campers: prat family, fitness family, early bird (their nickname for mad Frenchie), frogs in French corner (their name for their French fellow campers) and topless (the guy obsessed with nudist beaches). This was bittersweet but dull as tales of martial woe are laid out and more horrible families show up. There are too many loathsome people with as much dignity as Courtney Stodden in this.

Best Lines:
“Stop the car or I kill you now!”

“I hate the French.”

“Have a good journey?”

“Piss off you fat prat.”

“This camp’s rubbish innit?”

“Our tent’s a khazi.”

“This camp’s is all rubbish!”

“How long do you think it’s going to take you to drive to Marbella?”
“I don’t know and I don’t bloody care.”
Tags: nikita, once upon a time, review, the day after, the mob doctor

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