epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Tape 407

Tape 407: The Mesa Reserve Incident (2012)
This was an awful found footage film. Boarding a plane an annoying tween tapes stuff while providing running commentary. It’s all yap, yap, yap. It is New Year’s Eve and the sole flight attendant hands out noisemakers, sparkly hats and beads. The plane crashes, fake looking blood is sported and people wander off. This is like episode 1 of ‘Lost’ but without the drama.

The tween and her equally annoying sister keep filming as people seem unconvinced of the seriousness of the situation. Everyone is a screaming fool which seriously undermines the drama. The tween has notions and judgement gone awry. Something out in the darkness constitutes a threat but this film is so daylight deficient you don’t care. Divisions among the crash survivors get deeper, but as this film gets exponentially worse minute by minute, you don’t care.

This was not scary. A monster chases the survivors. There is non stop screaming by the idiot characters who act like really tall two year olds. This was stupid and full of bad acting. This film is a cautionary tale. Don’t get fooled by a trailer and get enmeshed in crap. This was awful with an infantile and ridiculous ending.

Best Lines:
“My voice is down.”
“No it is not.”

“Fun spoiler.”

“Angry drunk bald guy.”

“It’s huge, it’s nasty and it has teeth. Well that helps.”

“Most animals have tails.”

“We are not going to die here.”

“You haven’t heard me yell.”

“That was not a coyote.”

“Stuck in a goddam meth lab in the middle of nowhere.”
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