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6 tv reviews

The Walking Dead 3x07

When The Dead Come Knocking
Merle menaces Glen and Maggie. Michonne has made it to the prison and the gang debate whether to help her as zombies swarm. Michonne really shouldn’t have entrusted herself to Rick’s fine mind. Rick is threatening. Merle is peeved. Glen is dumb. Carl gives little bastard a name. Michonne and the men folk head off to Woodbury to rescue Glen and Maggie. The womenfolk stay behind to baby-sit little bastard. Weird experiments are carried out in Woodbury. Maggie is drained and disgusted by the Governor. Rick’s insufficient patience leads to trouble. Michonne and co casually kill a man and use him as zombie bait. This was miserable viewing. What is the Red Zone the Woodbury lot yap about?

Best Lines:
“Jim Jones type.”

“I figured the way officer friendly abandoned people; he would’ve left you behind by now.”

Supernatural 8x13

Everybody Hates Hitler
The brothers find the long abandoned Men Of Letters HQ and move on in to the MOL batcave. They get caught up in a case involving Nazis and magic. There is no moral high ground that Sam does not seek to occupy. Season 8 feels like flat pack TV and this ep was slightly insipid. There is a ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ rip-off, necromancers, idiot college kids, a nerd, a golem and a reminder that the brothers look like nutters to outsiders. The Thule Society is set up as a potential big bad either for this show or the coming spin-off.

Best Lines:
“Get the clap.”

“These guys are psychopaths.”

“He took on an entire camp full of heavily armed German soldiers and Thule necromancers and won.”
“One bad ass Hummel figurine.”

“Undead Nazi zombie freaks.”

Nikita 3x02

Nikita is orange. Birkhoff is annoying. Michael’s less broody predecessor Wade surfaces and he kidnapped and trained his own recruit Liza. The gang have to save Liza and stop Wade. Nikita throws a pity party ignoring all parallels with what she did to Alex. Liza annoys, Ryan is a goob and Alex goes undercover despite saying in 3x01 she was ruined for undercover work. There is bad acting, an attack on Division, Liza beats up a guard, Division carry the idiot ball and Ryan lies. This was crap. Liza is taken home and nobody worries about her combat skills. Michael reveals something that makes his relationship with Nikita a bit more icky.

Best Lines:
“What is Michael’s real last name anyway?”

“Listen to you, your tough guy voice.”

“Sometimes they do come back.”

“What happened to him? To Percy?”
“I dropped him, down a 300 foot shaft.”

“Chance favours the prepared.”

“I now betray my overlord. Exterminate! Exterminate!”

The Mob Doctor 1x02

Family Secrets
Grace’s late father was an awful violent drunk, but she does wonder who whacked him. Nate is stupid beyond belief. Constantine plans to be the don again. Moretti isn’t missed. Grace runs around working on various cases. The lurking Franco is now Constantine’s sidekick after being Moretti’s sidekick. Grace learns some family secrets, various characters are useless and this was seriously stupid. Kevin J. O’Connor of ‘The Others’ and ‘Peggy Sue Got Married’ guest stars.

Best Lines:
“I’m making duck.”
“You don’t make duck.”
“I do when you bring home a doctor.”

“All over me like freckles on an Irish ass.”

“You drink?”
“Only when I’m awake.”
“Inbetween drinks.”

“That guy’s face was all over the news. I’m now holding his urine.”

“Talk to me about urine.”

Once Upon A Time 2x13

Rumpy, Emma and Henry head off to find Baelfire. Regina lies. Hook is still a jerk. Tiny the giant (Jorge Garcia of ‘Alcatraz’) shows up in town and he has issues with David’s long dead identical twin brother. Flashbacks show James was a terrible person, due to his jerk father (Alan Dale) and his dubious parenting methods. James and his girl Jack (Cassidy Freeman of ‘Smallville’ and ‘YellowBrickRoad’) did awful things to Tiny and his brother (Abraham Benrubi of ‘er’). Tiny rampages and there is ranting about magic beans. Belle is sedated and treated like a loon. Greg lurks. David never seems to have thought about his dead brother before. Rumpy can’t cope with airport security. Regina is depraved, disgusting and amoral. There is stupid green screen, Tiny annoys and a potential way home is offered. The hi-ho song is whistled and James was a vile person, a lot more interesting than David. This disappointed.

Best Lines:
“Became extremely murderous.”

“You’re David, James and Charming?”

Murder Most Horrid Series 2 Ep 1

This was written by Steven Moffat. A suicidal former social worker named Tina (Dawn French) has her suicide interrupted by an assassin named Carmela (Amanda Donohoe of ‘LA Law’ and ‘Emmerdale’). The extremely stupid Tina is forced to help carry out Carmela’s latest hit. It all goes wrong resulting in mass death. Colin Salmon has a small role, social workers get a roasting and this was unfunny.

Best Lines:
“Sod off and die you lonely old pervert!”

“The police had barricades there for three days. Apparently it’s still burning.”

“It all started as some very exciting street theatre with my borstal group.”

“So far in my professional life I’ve killed well over 50 people.”
“Oh so you’re a social worker too?”

“30 seconds later they’re dead.”
“God that’s faster than a foster parent.”


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