epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

The White Queen 1x09 Reviewed

It is 1484 and the crown weighs heavily on the consumptive looking billy-no-mates Richard III. Buckingham plots and has a Monkees hairdo. Richard III displays his white boar badge, Queen Anne has no ladies in waiting and cross eyed lunatic Elizabeth Woodville calls Richard’s coronation a sin. She’s one to talk.

Various people wish the Princes in the Tower dead. Elizabeth of York snots. People plot. Lord Stanley as ever has his own agenda. Elizabeth Woodville looks like she’s been dragged through a puddle. The git Richard III has gone full tilt dark side and pervs over his niece. He is the worse kind of swine. The fate of the Princes is unclear but rumours that they are dead spread. Filthy Elizabeth Woodville screams and the annoying witches cast yet another spell. This ep was arduous viewing as it was full of lowlife dung. Buckingham gets got, Lord Stanley is a burk, a curse is cast, there is foreshadowing and Elizabeth of York is as much a pit viper as her foul mother. Thankfully there is only one episode of stomach turning dishonour and deceit perpetrated by liars, bounders and whining cads to go.

Best Lines:
“England will grow to love you.”

“Save or slaughter?”

“Made me marry her yokel sister.”

“We’ll put my son on the throne, not hers.”
Tags: the white queen

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