epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Red Dawn (2012)

I’ve seen the red scare original and it was better than this crap. This sat on the shelf for a few years and maybe it should have been left there. North Korea invades without warning (this was made pre-Prism obviously) and a load of idiots (Isabel Lucas, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson and Adrianna Palicki among them) hide in the woods and become la résistance led by Jed (Chris Hemsworth).

This was disjointed, jingoistic and various people (Jeffrey Dean Morgan & Will Yun Lee) run in and out of scenes and I’ve no clue what’s going. There was incoherent action, murky scenes, dull surprise acting, illogic and Josh Peck is a blight on this film with his serial killer haircut and permascowl as he plays a whining load of arse gravy. Women exist only as peripheral love interests and Brett Cullen of ‘Person of Interest’ is wasted as Jed’s doomed daddy. This was awful; they didn’t even use the two best bits from the original (the ultra cheesy avenge me and the creepy casual mention of what happened to China).

Best Lines:
“You know what I miss? Pizza.”
“Toilets that flush.”
“’Call of Duty: Modern Warfare’.”
“Dude we’re living ’Call of Duty’ and it sucks.”

“Enough talk!!!”

“Now we’re the Free American Army.”
“Three guys? That’s it? What good are three guys?”

“We’re the wolverines.”
“I was afraid of that.”

“I hate these kids. Hate em.”

“It’s a good day to die gentlemen.”
“What did he say?”
Tags: movie review, person of interest

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