epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Nikita 3x01 + The Mob Doctor (2012-2013) 1x01 + Once Upon A Time 2x12 Reviewed

The computer game woman who goes around prettily shooting people is back. This ep had a ridiculous intro. The stick insect is after a rogue Division agent because he killed a wine dealer and Division care about that, why ever that may be. Nobody talks like a real person, Ryan runs Division and is still a goob and Michael plans marriage. Birkhoff shouts a lot, Alex plays the part of a scandalous Russian heiress, there is translation software, the situation escalates and no-one notices Nikita climbing into a car’s sunroof to menace people. Michael is in peril, Ryan snots and lies and the President is still talking about wiping out Division. Michael and Nikita get engaged with not a mention of Daniel or Michael’s wife and children. This was ridiculous yet okay.

Best Lines:
“Wish I had her job.”

“Just say thank you.”

“The dirty 30.”

“You had me at ‘just give me the damn glock’.”

I never saw a single ad for this drama which was cancelled after 13 eps. Grace Devlin is a surgeon who moonlights as a mob doctor because her thankless ‘Jersey Shore’ reject brother ran up a huge debt with stupid mob boss Moretti (Michael Rapaport of ‘Prison Break’). Grace is ‘feisty’ and sasses everyone and isn’t very likeable or sympathetic.

Moretti wants Grace to kill a witness protection informant who has been admitted to the hospital. Grace broods and has a dumb mother, a frosty mentor (Zeljko Ivanek of ‘Heroes’, ‘True Blood’ and ‘The Event’), a rival, a goob boyfriend and a friend in a friendly paroled former mob boss (William Forsythe of the 90’s version of ‘The Untouchables’).

Grace runs around trying to avoid murdering someone, has to explain pregnancy to a snotty teen via ‘Star Wars’ metaphors, feuds with her incompetent boss and gets chased by Moretti in his car that has a licence plate that says: Mor3tti. This has a cute title card, cheese, soap opera drama, lies, self righteousness and barely registers a pulse of credibility. There is an interesting twist and this was okay. For such a book smart person, Grace has incredibly bad judgment.

Best Lines:
“First time I saw a dead body; it was the neighbourhood drunk”

“Next time don’t rob a hardware store when you’re drunk.”

“He faceplanted in court this morning.”

“Nobody’s going to miss him, nobody.”

“How you feeling?”
“Like I just got beat up by a Transformer.”

“You’re the one who drove on my property waving a gun.”

“Nobody’s scared of you any...”

“You didn’t see anything. Go home.”

In The Name of the Brother
Hook isn’t dead and he crows about more or less murdering Belle and leaving her a blank slate. Dr Whale (the ever annoying David Anders) gets more black and white flashbacks to his days as Dr Frankenstein. He was the unloved son and his brother was the favourite, crap happened. Belle screams and everyone is suspicious of Greg, the new guy in town.

I don’t care about Hook or the whining, useless, pathetic Whale. The Storybrooke jerks want Greg dead. Igor shows up in flashback. Cora hangs out with Rumpy and Regina. Why does Regina listen to her mother? Are we supposed to care about Frankenstein and his monster? Belle tantrums and breaks her cup. When did everyone learn Whale was Frankenstein? Henry of all people wonders how Dr Frankenstein got caught up in the curse. Emma and Rumpy make plans. This was awful. This show has no moral purpose or drive; it is just drawing room entertainment. I don’t even care about the possibly interesting Greg plotline.

Best Lines:
“Never seen him before.”
“That’s because he drove into town.”

“Are you a philanthropist?”
“Well I’ve been called worse.”

“I ate my boyfriend.”

“You’ve been too bad for too long.”

“Who knows who else is in this town?”

“Know this and know it to be true. If any harm comes to Belle while I’m gone, I’m killing all of you.”
Tags: nikita, once upon a time, the mob doctor

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