epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

True Blood 5x11 + Hannibal 1x13 + Once Upon A Time 2x11 Reviewed

Bill (the Alex Reid of vampires) has more relentlessly grotty Lilith visions. This season has the whiff of desperation of a 80s revival tour. Sookie has failed to notice the darker timbre of the world until now. Nora has consciousness of guilt. Jessica annoys and Bill has scattergun fury. This season TPTB have ended up succeeding at very little.

Eric and Nora screw and escape; now Nora is sorry for all her murdering? The AVL lie and boast. The humans prepare to fight back. Something is wrong with every one of these charisma in reverse characters. A crazy fairy (Erica Gimpel) bores. Nora and Eric ignore their equal culpability in what’s going on.

The evil and vile Steve and Russell menace boring fairies. Everyone bigs up Warlow, who I assume is the big bad of season 6. Holly’s brat sons annoy. Alcide’s dad decides to man up again. Alcide won’t wear a shirt and attacks some ground with an axe. Andy descends into burning confusion and eyeballing ferocity when he learns something.

There is no philosophical enquiry to this season, no reason why I should be moved. Instead it’s all indulgent, nihilistic sneering with way too much focus on the sadistic, crazy and desolate AVL. This season also has an unnecessary level of bitterness and nastiness. This show is nothing but a soulless corporate entity now with quirky kook oddball characters who induce general fatigue. TPTB’s creative instincts are blurred and stagnant. In short this episode, like this season stank.

Best Lines:
“The world will run with blood and we’ll be there to drink it down.”

“They are food and nothing more.”

“You psychotic bloodsuckers.”

“Roman was an infidel who defied the word of Lilith.”

“We own the day.”

“There’s not a drop of Elijah anywhere.”

“Answers now.”

“Little ginger bitch.”

“Ke$ha? For or against?”

“It is forbidden to speak of these things.”
“What things?”

“A reason that you slut your heart out to every cute guy out there with fangs.”

“A dark time is coming.”

“Bill, Eric: they’ve gone crazy. Found vampire religion.”

“I’m sorry for putting your butt up on Facebook.”

“You can take that to the bank.”
“Banks suck. They took our house.”

“Lots of people might think I’m stupid. But those people are wrong.”

Will has more hallucinations and pukes up an ear. He mutters and trusts Lecter. Will is made to think he killed Abigail. Alana shows up. The FBI invade Will’s house and Jack is awful. Everyone does the Jack Bauer whisper. Will’s colleagues turn on him and everyone is stupid. Alana will care for Will’s dogs. Lecter’s useless shrink knows what he is up to and does nothing and lies for him. Will is framed for being the copycat Ripper, something Hannibal has been setting up all season. Jack is a jerk; Will finally comes to a realization about his ‘friend’ Lecter. In fact a lot of facts about Hannibal disturb Will greatly.

But Will’s eccentricity counts against him and he’s ideal to frame as he’s so deeply weird. Jack shoots Will. Hannibal serves ‘veal’ (aka the useless Abigail) to his shrink. Will’s locked up in the nuthouse and Hannibal is on the other side of the glass. This was not good because everyone was stupid. So in season 2 Will will be cleared, Hannibal will be uncovered and Will should get a massive settlement from the FBI.

Best Lines:
“Do you know how it got there?”
“Not with any certainty, no.”

“It’s the least of your problems.”

“I never think about living beyond that span of time, except by reputation.”

“Someone is making sure that no one believes me.”

“A man filled with dark and swarming with flies.”

The Outsider
Mr Gold (like Regina) continues deeply ingrained maladaptive patterns of behaviour. Smee exits. This show is too daytime soap, in fact remove the magic and myth and it could be ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’. Hopper’s funeral is held. No one wonders where August is. Regina’s decades long resentment and brooding retribution bores. Belle gets a flashback story that tells how she hung out in bars, hunted a monster and encountered Mulan and Philip. Various Storybrooke residents want to go home. Hook really is a jerk; thankfully he gets run over by a car as yet another stranger arrives in town. Hopefully Hook is dead - he’s a show killer. Snow is shallow and this was bad.

Best Lines:
“What’s that?”
“Uh a book, I trust you’ve seen one before.”

“There’s a whole world full of people beyond the town line that don’t know who or what we are. Ever think of what might happen if one of them were to come pay us a visit?”

“Marauding cur.”

“Now scurry off.”

“I just imagined a bigger roof, with turrets.”

“What you’ve done cannot be undone.”
Tags: hannibal, once upon a time, true blood

Comments for this post were disabled by the author