epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Hannibal 1x12 + Once Upon A Time 2x10 + Revolution 1x20 Reviewed

WTF has happened to Ellen Muth’s face and voice? Does she smoke five packs a day or something? Hannibal plays Will some more. Georgia (Muth) picks the worst place to comb her hair and dies in slow motion. The dim whiner Abigail plans to write a book with Freddie. Jack is hostile. Freddie sees killers everywhere.

Jack interviews Hannibal’s inept shrink (Gillian Anderson). Backstory and secrets are revealed. Jack fails to take note of all the dead people around Lecter and instead allows Hannibal to play him. This bored. Hannibal is boringly fiendishly evil and is an improbably well-resourced serial killer.

Will is coming to some realizations, too bad he is still dim. Hannibal gurns. Jack finally uncovers Abigail’s role in her father’s murder spree. Where was Abigail’s mother during all this murdering? Hannibal’s game comes towards the end and Jack just automatically accepts his lies. Will has another convenient blackout. Abigail is stupid and this was stupid.

Best Lines:
“They’ll just know that you’re wrong.”

“It’s not that I think Dr Lecter is dangerous, I don’t.”

“He’s had some pretty strange relationships with some of his patients.”

“This wasn’t supposed to be my life.”

“Whatever you’re doing with Will Graham, stop.”

“What did you tell him?”
“Half truths.”

“This is venturing into the paranoid.”

“How’s the book coming?”
“There’s plot holes.”

“She’s got the taste for it now.”

“I was the lure.”

“Jack Crawford was right about you.”

“There is something wrong with you.”

The Cricket Game
No-one wonders why Cora and Hook (who are dressed like RenFaire hookers) are lurking on the docks. Hook continues to be a crap villain. Charming and Snow bore. Henry needs to learn to knock. Flashbacks show how after defeating King George, Charming and Snow captured Regina and didn’t execute her. Morons.

Dr Hopper (Raphael Sbarge of ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ and ‘The Guardian’) is murdered. Regina just can’t stop being evil. Flashbacks show Charming in a pelt, Regina’s idiot doormat father being a doormat and how the awful Regina adopted the motivation and malevolent soul of her mother. They should have killed her when they had the chance. Why did Regina lock herself into Storybrooke with her victims? WTF is wrong with her and her bad acting?

Rumpy prances around lisping and playing his long game. Dr Hopper is described as kind, he wasn’t. Emma has inherited her mother’s room temperature IQ.  Belle is ever useless. There are plot contortions. Regina is ungrateful and rages on about ‘her’ son. There is a plot twist and this was crap.

Best Lines:
“You got your PHD from a curse.”

“Go take yourself for a walk.”

“There’s no telling what she’ll live to do.”

“Who’d want to frame her?”
“There’s a long list.”

“I will not let you poison Henry against me.”
“Interesting word choice, since you already did.”

“What other friends do you have?”

“This cricket will chirrup.”

The Dark Tower
In the ludicrous season 1 finale, Miles and Monroe attempt to kill each other again. Rachel says she knows best and determines to switch the power back on getting Nora killed in the process. Neville has staged a coup against Monroe, Jason lurks around his dad and the dim Danny is long dead. I care not.

Flashbacks show how a bombing nearly killed Miles as he and Monroe bonded over their fascist uniforms and love of hair gel. So Monroe avenged himself on the bomber to the objection of Miles and Nora. In the present day, Monroe has a deranged tantrum and Miles finally seems to accept that he made his BFF into a monster. Miles lets Monroe escape and the M/M sitch goes on.

Rachel and Miles apparently love each other, oh come on. Ben doesn’t seem to matter. Charlie lurks. How did Charlie grow up in the Monroe Republic and never know her Uncle Miles ran it with his BFF? Rachel is selfish, Charlie still can’t act, Aaron hangs out with the people who have lied and manipulated him for years and Rachel turns the power back on.

Which turns out to be a mistake as she was the unwitting pawn of some mouth breather with his own agenda. ICBM’s are launched, there is ranting and a final scene shows a United States colony (with wooden sailing fleet) at Guantanamo Bay. WTF? I think I’ll skip season 2.

Best Lines:
“When the blackout spread worldwide, I don’t think it was an accident. I think someone did it on purpose.”

“It’s the only reason why I followed you into any of this and you tried to kill me for it.”

“You have a borderline erotic fixation on Miles Matheson. There I said it.”

“You asked me why I tried to kill you. You’re asking the wrong question Bass. Ask me why I couldn’t. We’re still brothers.”

“Run Bass.”

“When you burn down the old, new things grow.”

“It’s time to go home Mr President.”
Tags: hannibal, once upon a time, revolution

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