It is 1473 and Edward IV and his tiny little legs speeds towards his coming death from cirrhosis of the liver. Elizabeth continues to be the most objectionable person on earth. Richard and Anne brood in Warwick Castle. George sulks, despite having the Earl of Warwick title his perfidy is frustrated. Margaret Beaufort is a Lady In Waiting to Elizabeth and plays a long game. Elizabeth gives birth to her second son, the other Prince In The Tower. This is highly dehistoricised and decontextualised.
Edward is a fat, lazy, wastrel shagger - his primal lusts have made him seedy and debased. Anne’s mother is not wailing for forgiveness. The almost too stupid to talk Isabel has had Margaret (who Henry VIII would have executed) and is pregnant again. Lord Stanley and Margaret plot as she is made nursemaid to the latest York brat. Elizabeth is intolerably smug.
The York brothers head off to war in the armpit of France. But instead Edward makes peace, Richard looks consumptive in black and the King of France is fugly. Richard is cutely tragic as he enjoys the love and loyalty of the north that marriage to Anne Neville brought him. George screeches and plots as he finally recalls that Elizabeth caused the death of his first child. Elizabeth objects to George calling her a witch.
Isabel gives birth to Edward (who Henry VII would have executed) and dies. What did she die of? It is unclear to this day. George makes more accusations of murder and witchcraft. Instead of wilting with shame, Elizabeth plots. Thanks to conflicting ideologies Edward has George arrested. Though Edward does seem sick of his wife and her endless plotting that does not save George. His date with a barrel of wine arrives.
Everyone overlooks Richard and Margaret Beaufort. Duchess Cecily wears a tea cosy on her head and has a meltdown. Elizabeth and Margaret pray and bond as Margaret plots to be greater than Elizabeth. This was twaddle but good.
Best Lines:
“You left me on a battlefield.”
“Good news if the King should fall.”
“I’ll make my peace with George when he’s dead.”
“She just ill-wished our boys.”
“She casts her evil eye on me.”
“George’s ambition is curdling to rage.”
“Our father would cry for shame if he could see us now.”
“Both of them are angry with us.”
“Stay in here and be dead.”
“Don’t listen to her poison.”
“I’ve buried two husbands.”
“It’s one less person who will hate us.”
“Your Henry’s going to have to walk past five coffins.”
