epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

The White Queen 1x06 Reviewed

Warwick has died of falling over. Henry VI has been murdered by the York brothers. The scoliosis free Richard (played by a guy who looks like Ben Barnes and sounds Spanish) woos Anne Neville. Edward (who has bad posture and wears his crown crooked) and Elizabeth are smug in their triumph in their pile of iniquity court. This was a boring historical imagining of a half lost half seen world.

Elizabeth is poison. Anne and Isabel’s mother is far away. The pelt sporting Isabel is a snot and helps her husband keep her sister imprisoned and steal her inheritance until she suddenly decides to be nice again. Margaret Beaufort is caught in escalating desperation. Though when her mother (played by Sting’s first wife) dies she decides to marry Lord Stanley (Rupert Graves of ‘Sherlock’) in a political union of mutual benefit. He is more than a match for her.

Elizabeth sulks that her son is to be Prince of Wales and breeds like a fly. Edward takes a mistress who looks like Kate Moss. Elizabeth is ever sensitive to criticism, always seething and brooding. Isabel always seems to wear the same dress, to show she is pregnant yet again Elizabeth apparently has a pillow stuck up her dress. Jacquetta is dying but Elizabeth is too self centred to notice at first. The old witch croaks.

There are lots of close ups of wax seals. Margaret Beaufort has suddenly acquired a comedy manservant. There are two weddings, a death and Margaret Beaufort comes to court. There is no squalor or chaos to be seen, only ambition. This was boring, James Frain is missed.

Best Lines:
“You’re the widow of a traitor.”

“Your husband is as fertile as a bull.”

“Whoring is merely a sport.”

“You flatter her to even dwell on her name.”

“My sister and her ever present flock of ladies.”

“He’s as loyal as a hog.”
Tags: the white queen
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