This BBC Christmas ghost story is not very scary. It centres on the pagan stone circles of Avebury. A boring middle class family have an ancient menhir in their back garden and then they have some sweaty shirtless workmen remove it. This unleashs a curse. This is the moral message: if you have Neolithic standing stones in your garden, don’t remove them or else a malevolent force will get you.
The wife has huge collars and listens to a radio report about the Voyager mission. Ominous wind blows and she starts inexplicably bleeding to death from no visible wound. Cue gratuitous nudity, panting and the husband (Peter Bowles of ‘To The Manor Born’, ‘The Irish R.M.‘, ‘Rumpole of the Bailey’ and ‘Survivors’) throwing tantrum tantrums as his wife is insanely sick. Oh the perils of landscape gardening.
There is lots of blood, a knife moves by itself and the pasty workmen find a skeleton in the garden. A final twist makes you wonder exactly what or who the malignant force really was. There is no realistic, gritty or socially challenging storyline here. This was dull and weird but the twist does make you look at it in a new way. Everything is grey, the colour of sadness as the trussed up sexless housewife finds her life blighted and in decline. The final image has some implied creepiness though; shame the rest of it doesn’t match up to the disturbing implications of the finale.
“Never trust a woman to open a bottle.”
“Get an ambulance.”
Walk With Me
A helicopter crashes as Andrea and Michonne stroll by. Is the National Guard helicopter related to the one Rick saw back in season 1? Merle (Michael Rooker) returns with a bayonet hand. Seriously, how did he survive? Andrea and Michonne end up in the protected community of Woodbury which is led by The Governor (David Morrissey of ‘Framed’). How did Rick and co miss Woodbury? It has 73 people and they call the walking dead ‘biters’. Andrea overlooks The Governor’s weird US accent and the cult like implications to pant over The Governor. She does like the damaged ones doesn’t she? A doctor is weird, people get shot, The Governor is obviously beyond nuts - the final scene is ick. This was okay.
“People died. A lot of them.”
“Walls haven’t been breached in well over a month. We haven’t suffered a causality on the inside since early winter.”
“Every tool-kit needs a hammer.”
“You expect it to hold?”
“What’s your secret?”
“Really big walls.”
This is a Benny episode that reveals his back-story and motivation. Sam and Dean don’t mention how they never try to save the possessed anymore. Sam has more boring flashbacks to the bitchy thankless vet who can‘t act that he hooked up with. Nobody is the least concerned about Castiel’s vessel. Benny and Dean take on vampire pirates who can’t act. Vampires die. This was okay.
“You did try to kill his mother.”
“I’m pretty sure I could make it at a slow crawl.”
“If you murder a monster in monster heaven, where does it go?”
“It’s less than strategic.”
“Listen to me you undead blood junkie.”
“Good to know you’re still as dumb as ever.”
“Yeah well some things never change. Now, why you getting into machete fights with your own kind?”
“Kill him before he kills me, again.”
“I think it’s creepy you buy all your clothes at Army Surplus. White supremacists do that.”
“Yeah but I’m not...”
“Drifting serial killers do that.”
Sam is on full whinge mode. Garth shows up pretending to be a Texas Ranger and he’s the new Bobby. TPTB are a lot fonder of Bobby and Garth than me. Sam’s lazy, Garth used to be a dentist and people are committing random acts of gratuitous violence. Sam has yet more boring flashbacks to his bitchy vet who whined about her dead husband who had the effrontery to die in Afghanistan. Dean wants the monopoly on missing Bobby. Sam thinks only of himself. A spectre must be vanquished. This had class tensions, rage blackouts, Dean’s anti-possession tattoo seems to be on the fritz, people failed to notice a civil war penny and Dean has a good rant about Sam’s selfishness. Sam self-justifies. Oh shut up and cut your hair burk. I did not like this one.
“Hey Chuck Norris.”
“You killed the Tooth Fairy?”
“Yeah man, not my proudest moment.”
“Burn a confederate soldier’s bones in a town full of rednecks? Sure.”
“He left me to rot in purgatory.”