epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Kung Fu The Legend Continues 2x10 + Elementary 1x22 + Revenge 2x20 Reviewed

Kung Fu The Legend Continues (1993 - 1997) 2x10

The Bardo
The back-story to this show was that Mr Caine (the late David Carradine, who looks high) believed his son Peter was dead after their Shaolin temple blew up 15 years ago. Only to be proved wrong when they were reunited and Peter (Chris Potter of ’The Pacifier’, ’Sex Traffic’, ’Heartland’, ’Runaway’ and ’Material World’) has grown up into an adrenaline junkie cop with severe abandonment issues.

In this ep Peter chases a suspect and takes a header off a landing. He is left comatose with a big silly looking bandage around his head. Deadbeat dad Caine realises Peter is trapped in a netherworld between life and death (the bardo of the title) and decides to bring him out of it. Peter’s foster dad Paul is upset and remembers how he first met Peter at the hellish orphanage he ended up in.

Caine does a thousand yard stare and has an annoying flashback to the days of the Temple. The irritating flashbacks on this show were always accompanied by really irritating synth music. Then he finally enters the bardo and encounters his angry, greasy looking son. Caine overlooks the fact that Peter has every right to be angry at him.

Guest stars who can’t act take up space. A hitman lurks. Peter shouts, is indolent and acts like he is high. Caine is clueless. Peter’s dead mother Laura shows up. Is she a ghost? Peter’s friend Kermit is nowhere to be seen. Peter heavy breathes and growls and Caine emotionally abuses his son some more.

This had 90s computer technology, Peter showing murderous rage toward his loser father, Caine uses public shaming to bully Peter into apologising to him, there is porno grunting and it is all embarrassingly OTT.

Peter wakes up and by 2x11, he had walked off brain surgery and was fine enough to get possessed by evil or something.  Caine whips out his flute that he can only play one tune on and sermonises. Caine is an atrocious entitled git. The now calm and stepford Peter cannot recall the bardo, be bitter and angry Peter. Be bitter and angry at your father and his social myopia! On the negative side this was camp 90s cheese. Oh the plus side, this had Chris Potter.

Best Lines:
“A surly scruffy ill mannered kid.”

“Your son will die and his soul will remain forever in a shadowy limbo world.”
“He was in such pain.”

“He is facing death.”

“Find his anger. Cure his anger.”

“You left me, remember?”

“Why’s he so angry?”
“I do not know.”

“His father’s trying to cure him with some Vulcan mind meld.”

“You left me alone!”

“ I abandoned you. Accept it. Let the rage out.”

Risk Management
Moriarty (or is it?) smarms down Holmes’ iphone and hires him to solve a case whilst boasting of his Napoleon of crime credentials. Holmes waxes nostalgic about Irene Adler: American, painter/art restorer and great in bed. Joan is dim and wooden.

Holmes is a stupid self absorbed right royal git. Gregson lurks. Moriarty (or is it?) lures Holmes to an empty house where a certain woman (Natalie Dormer of ‘The Tudors’ and ‘The Fades’) lurks. Holmes makes faces like he just ate a ghost chilli. This was bad.

Best Lines:
“I hear his prognosis is quite grave.”
“So what?”

“This is not the work of your average street thug.”

“You’re a pimp and assassins are your girls.”

“She was to me The Woman.”

“That’s what 72 hour psych holds are for.”

Emily and Daniel plan to live in Paris. Nolan is getting his company back. The Governor’s wife (Jessica Tuck) spills a secret. Daniel is a terrible, horrible, evil person as he learns Aiden’s past and fires him.

The woman shaped growth Charlotte who can’t act hangs out with Regina, gets arrested and spills a secret. Victoria plays Jack. Baby Carl is nowhere to be seen.

Nolan looks up Edith who can’t act either. The revenge mentor mumbles one time too many. Jack and Emily have issues and a blackout takes place. This was okay if insubstantial and shallow. What is happening with the blackout? What was revenge mentor’s real agenda?

Best Lines:
“How repetitious.”

“Don’t be cruel Daniel. You and I have both made mistakes. The difference is; I don’t make them twice.”
“Except bastard children I guess.”

“Who’s them?”

“Someone I trust far more than you.”

“Were you expecting your husband or mine?”

“Could we have a word?”
Tags: elementary, revenge, review

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