epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Trailers, Quotes and a 2001 Tape Tale

‘Arrow’ 1x23 promo
This won’t end well.

‘The Purge’ TV spot

Reviews of ‘The Americans’ season 1, ’Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps’ and ’The Other Guys’ forthcoming.

I am reading ‘The Tower’.

One of the funniest things I’ve seen is the scene in ‘Shaun of the Dead’ where the hungover gormless slothful Shaun walks to the corner shop and back again completely obvious to the fact the street is full of dead people and reanimated corpses.

‘Marvel’s Agents of Shield’ is to be a TV show. Starring that git Coulson. No.

‘Once Upon A Time’ renewed: yay. ‘Revenge’ renewed: boo.

I like salted caramel and hazelnut yogurt.

‘The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes!’ Quotes:
“There’s a tree and a racoon scowling at us man.”

“He’s the Star Lord. Respect him.”

“Okay that probably didn’t help explain things.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“I like your hatred.”

“Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.”

“That’s how you deliver a baby calf with a bathroom plunger.”

“If Jesus had a gun, he’d be alive today.”

‘The Tower’ Quotes:
“Mankind must look no further.”

“Dr Kinderman doesn’t exactly conform to conventional notions of behaviour.”

‘Ugly Betty’ Quotes:
“Just no butter, no salt, no yolk.”
“You take all that away, what is left?”
“A healthy meal!”

“You think they like fat free nacho night? They don’t!”

‘The Borgias’ Quote:
“Open your eyes. We’re not safe.”

‘The Prisoners’ Quote:
“Hoodies are disrespectful.”

‘The Man With Two Brains’ Quote:
“Into the mud scum queen!”

Cleared out a tape from 2001. It began with the ‘Angel’ season 2 ep ‘The Shroud of Rahom’ in which Wesley drones, Tony Todd guest stars, Cordelia shows off her bad haircut and Angel broods over Darla. The dragged out Darla/Connor arcs were show killers. Kate annoys. Angel stakes a vampire and steals his sunglasses. There is a magical artefact in this ep somewhere. This was interminably boring and lacked nuance.

Then came a ‘Cleopatra 2525’ ep ‘Brain Drain’ in which the low rent strippers with hard tits, extra boobage, too short skirts and shag me shoes ran around. This show was tawdry. Mauser looks like an 1970s truck stop hooker. Plus the plot was an incoherent and loud tale of a parasite.

Then came a ‘Jack of All Trades’ ep ‘Monkey Business’ in which Jack and Em feud over a monkey idol. Jack falls over things and this was dull.

Best Line:
“I was the limbo champion at boarding school.”

Then there was a season  5 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Listening to Fear’ in which Joyce is in hospital with a brain tumour. Riley lets a vamp ho suck on him. Willow is dumb. Ben (Charlie Weber) lurks. A space monster comes to Earth and kills mental patients. Riley lies, Joyce raves and Buffy is an ineffective carer. Secrecy, lying and avoidance is practised. Nick Chinlund guest stars and Ben is revealed as ‘in’ with Glory. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Something evil crashed to Earth in this and then broke out and slithered away to do badness.”

“You’re nothing, you’re a shadow.”

“It is a killer snot monster from outer space.”

Then finally there was another season 2 ‘Angel’ ep ‘The Trial’ in which the Darla arc is dragged out some more. Cordelia diatribes. When the Master turned Darla she was dying of syphilis and now she is dying of it again. Darla looks good for someone in end stage syphilis. There is the first mention of the vampire hunter Holtz. This was ingeniously bad. Angel’s Darla obsession leads to a twist ending which would lead in time to Connor. Drusilla lurks and Lindsay is a deviant, sadomasochistic prat. Why did it take Angel until season 5 to have the loathsome Lindsay killed?

Best Lines:
“It’s how men talk about things in England.”

“Are you on drugs?”

“You were just soulless bloodsucking demons. They’re lawyers.”

“We will hit you.”
“On the head.”
“With very large and heavy objects.”
Tags: agents of shield, arrow, buffy the vampire slayer, once upon a time, revenge, tape tales, the purge, thoughts, trailers

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