epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Elementary 1x15 + Revenge 2x13 + Bones 8x12 Reviewed

A Giant Gun Filled With Drugs
An annoying woman is kidnapped and she is the daughter of Holmes’ former drug dealer (John Hannah of ‘New Street Law’ and ‘A Touch of Cloth’). Joan annoys, a DEA agent lurks, John Hannah shows off his ACTINGS and this was utterly banal and inane. Sure Holmes mentioned his monographs on ash and a blue carbuncle but I just did not care. This was tedious and boring.

Best Lines:
“Now I urinate.”

“Your tattoos, they’re all perfectly thuggish.”

“We are in a nightclub surrounded by alcohol. And judging by the way people are dancing: serious drugs.”

Finally we get a flashback to little Amanda, her daddy and her life long obsession with Jack. Yawn. Emily is selfish, Nate Ryan thugs out, Daniel still lives with his despised mommy and daddy. Aiden yells, his sister is long dead and Jack is proud and dumb.

Ashley is a snot, Conrad is scum, the power plays over the wharf rat bar goes on, Declan shouts, Nolan confronts Padma and Aiden rants. Aiden the show killer is horrible and thankless. Emily weeps over him like a pathetic Bella Swan. Am I supposed to care about any of this? Or the Initiative or Carrion or Helen?

Nolan conducts Amanda and Jack’s wedding. They had their child christened in a church, yet get married on a beach by Nolan? Conrad stirs the pot, someone dies, Aiden needs to go back to his cage and this was incompetent. Why does this season keep doing what does not work?

Best Lines:
“Fully clothed. How refreshing.”

“Careful who you’re calling black, little kettle.”

The Corpse In The Canopy
Hodgins and Angela wake up to find a body dangling over their bed. For some reason, they do not call the police. Hodgins whines and rants and demands vigilante justice against Pelant. Yes, the malignant narcissist Pelant is back. But that does not make Hodgins any less of a prat.

Angela is selfish and whiny. No-one really explains why Pelant is doing all this. Agent Flynn (Reed Diamond) shows up. Sweets annoys, I cannot stand that smug git. Hodgins overacts, Pelant escalates in his horribleness, an obstructive bureaucrat is obstructive and Hodgins whips out an Enigma machine to foil Pelant’s omnipotent hacking skills.

Flynn gets shot, Pelant gets away again and it turns out Hodgins wasn’t nearly paranoid enough as he has to pay and pay and pay. This was good, I hope Pelant and Flynn return soon. I also hope this Pelant arc has a better ending than the Gormagon arc.

Best Lines:
“Was it Pelant?”
“Come on, who else would cut someone up like this?”

“Evil little troll.”

“Nobody biopsies their own lung.”
Tags: a touch of cloth, bones, elementary, revenge

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