epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters (2013)

Some years after the classic Grimm tale, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have grown up into leather clad witch hunters who seem a bit too close. They arrive at a vaguely Medieval town to take on another evil witch (Famke Janssen) while a local idiot bureaucrat (Peter Stormare) annoys.

There is gore, a troll named Edward, body parts flying around, historically and mechanically impossible weaponry, ugly evil women, Hansel has insulin-dependent diabetes from being force fed candy as a child, Gretel has a fan boy, the evil witch does gloating rants, Hansel does an unnecessary combat roll, falls down a lot, gets a shovel to the face and at one point ends up with his face in his sister’s leather-corseted cleavage. This is a loud, trashy mess and it’s fun.

Best Line:
“Is it hot enough for you now?”
Tags: movie review

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