epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Music:

Movie Reviews: Wreckers + The Cottage

Wreckers (2011)
David (Benedict Cumberbatch of ‘Sherlock’) and his wife Dawn (Claire Foy) live in a village and have a happy life. Then David’s brother Nick shows up to cause trouble. Dawn notices the weird vibe between David and Nick and learns that their father was violent.

For some reason all Nick’s shouting, swearing and drama queen antics draw her to him. Nick and David list off each other’s sins. There is resentment and revelations. Dawn goes hysterical and shags Nick, because both of them are awful people.

Nick is a violent idiot, David hits Nick with a croquet mallet, Dawn lies and then the ending suggests something disturbing. Who was the real manipulative abuser in the family? This was okay.

Best Lines:
“She’s a reject dog.”

“He pushed our mum down the stairs when he was a teenager.”

“Remember that time you held my head in the water trough?”

“Bed wetter!”

The Cottage (2008)
David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith of ‘Psychoville’) two idiot brothers kidnap Tracey the busty blonde stepdaughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a mob boss. They hide out in a remote cottage and wait for their £100,000. They have several problems: they are morons, Tracey is a foul mouthed violent chav and their not so cunning plan falls apart.

The morons with no concept of trespass laws stumble across a mad killer, Tracey shows off her deep resentment, Peter tries to obviate his role and Doug Bradley (it’s Pinhead from the 'Hellraiser' movies!) has a cameo. There is drama, death, moths and this was okay but the ending is a letdown.

Best Lines:
“She head butted me. Repeatedly. I’ve never been head butted by anyone before in my life.”

“You couldn’t scare a child in the dark.”

“Were you followed?”
“By a car?”

“You better disappear from my presence or I’m likely to hurt you.”

“He very pissed man.”

“Strangers don’t fare well in these parts.”

“What else can go wrong?”

“We’re in a creepy house in the middle of nowhere. There’s a trapdoor in the kitchen with a weird noise coming from underneath.”

“Why are there hands in the freezer?”
“I think we should go now.”
Tags: movie review, psychoville, sherlock, white heat

Comments for this post were disabled by the author