epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Thoughts of the Day + a 1998 tape tale

RIP Richard Briers.

‘Black Mirror’ 2x03 promo
No.

~
On ‘Hollyoaks’, Ste behaves like a complete slapper. Mitzeee is gone from the opening credits. Will emotionally blackmails Texas. Nobody visits Esther. Ste sneers at John Paul. Holly and Liberty plan to become web hos. Doug nearly dies via some ‘Final Destination’ style high jinks. John Paul saves him. Love blooms. Ste is angry. How very dare Doug move on! Frankie is fired and is more concerned about that then Esther.

Best Lines:
“Next time Holly’s in the gutter, I’ll step over her.”

“Gobby little tart.”

“She went off the rails when I split up with her dad.”
"Oh look at her now, sprogged up at 17. Oh you must be so proud she’s back on track.”

“There’s not many scally jailbirds that have turned their life around.”

“I can’t help feeling really sorry for him actually.”
“Why?”
“Well Brendan knows exactly which buttons to press with Ste doesn’t he?”

~
Cleared out a tape from 1998. It began with the season 1 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Prophecy Girl’ in which Xander wants to ask Buffy out and she says no. The whole Buffy/Xander/Willow triangle was a waste of time. Buffy whines, Giles blusters, Jenny lurks and there is a prophecy that the Master will kill Buffy. Joyce gives Buffy a white dress for the school dance. The Master and The Anointed One bore. This was cheap looking and boring. Why did Buffy come back to life stronger? Why did tentacles come out of the Hellmouth? Why did the Master’s skeleton not dust?

Best Line:
“You’re that amped about hell? Go there.”

Then there was a season 1 ‘Earth Final Conflict’ ep ‘If You Could Read My Mind’ in which a psychic named Katya annoyed the Taleons. Sandoval lurks, Boone looms, Katya has a frizzy perm and an assassin in bad makeup lurks. This bored. Then came an ‘X Files’ ep ‘Detour’ in which Mulder and Scully looked for something in the woods. There were glowing red eyes and this was awful.

Finally there was a season 3 ‘Xena Warrior Princess’ ep ‘The Bitter Suite’ in which the infamous rift saga is concluded in this musical ep. Gabrielle plays the victim in the rift, Joxer takes up screen time and Xena stands on a really fake snow covered mountain. Solan and Hope are dead and Gabrielle launches a venomous verbal attack on Xena who gets physical. The duo promptly end up in the musical land Illusia to work things out via the medium of song and dance.

Callisto monologues and has a bad singing double and a terrible wig. There is bad cgi, ugly costumes, bad dancing, bad songs, a fluffy white dog, bad singing, Gabrielle wears a tacky tiara and has a bad singing double. There are songs on the pathology of power, Gabrielle wants to attribute to Xena the responsibility for what she did, Xena is thuggish and Gabrielle’s defence is to pretend to be the victim. This was idiotic.

Best Lines:
“I never betrayed you, that was Gabrielle.”

“If your child had lived, we’d surely make her welcome too.”

“You and me love war, doesn’t matter what it’s for.”
Tags: black mirror, buffy the vampire slayer, tape tales, thoughts, trailers, xfiles
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