The cover for Ellen Datlow’s ‘The Best Horror of the Year volume five’ is nice.
‘Avengers’ gag reel
Hawkeye is up on his perch (so much green screen) making ‘Star Trek’ jokes. Cute. This got me to thinking Hawkeye had exploding arrowheads, hacking arrowheads, grappling hook arrowheads and disguised exploding arrowheads. On ‘Arrow’, Oliver has explosive arrowheads, bank account hacking arrowheads, line launcher arrow headers and audio recorder/playback arrowheads. I’d say they’re even.
On ‘Hollyoaks’, Brendan gets drunk, listens to Johnny Cash and makes threats and ultimatums to Ste. Brendan wants Ste to love him more than his kids. This makes Ste horny. Brendan takes no responsibility for his role in Riley’s death. Ste/Brendan is the biggest car crash since Katie Price’s third wedding.
Doug’s orange. Ash still lurks. Ste treats Doug badly. Their civil partnership is overlooked. Why is Mitzeee still friends with Brendan? Dodger takes his shirt off. Dirk finally realises the Savage houseboat isn’t wheelchair accessible. Walker plots. Brendan gurns and is pathetic and looks like a 1970’s pimp.
Dirk is thick, Dodger is selfish and the McQueen’s ignore Phoebe. Ste gets irritated when prevented from shagging his crazy boyfriend who calls him needy and clingy. Brendan moves in with Ste.
Cleared out a tape from 1998. I’m sure it meant something to me once but not anymore. It opened with a season 2 ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘What’s My Line, part 1’ in which Kendra the vampire slayer shows up. Buffy dresses like a homeless person, there are fights, Willow wears dungarees and this was awful.
Then there was an ‘X Files’ ep ‘The Pine Bluff Variant’ in which Mulder goes undercover with a militia and a bio weapon is loose. Mulder is stoic, Scully is overwrought and there is bad acting. Sam Anderson of ‘Lost’ and ‘Angel’ guest stars. The bio weapon causes people to melt. This was dull.
“Those were tests on us to be used on someone else.”
Then there was a ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’ ep ‘In the Pale Moonlight’ in which Sisko narrates a tale of how he got the Romulans to break their non-aggression pact with the Dominion and enter the war. After all a combined UFP/Klingon/Romulan force could (and did) defeat the Dominion. Sisko yells a lot. After Betazed is invaded by the Dominion Garak suggest they invent proof of Dominion duplicity to trick the Romulans into entering the war on the right side. Sisko overacts.
Sisko deals with criminals and makes compromises to get the fake data made - it shows the Dominion plan to invade Romulus. It is presented to the hardliner Romulan senator Vreenak (Stephen McHattie). I wondered why isn’t Section 31 doing this? Vreenak is sarcastic and drinks Romulan ale and sneers. It helps to overcome his bad wig and OTT eyebrows.
There is a big twist. Sisko screams a lot. The Romulans enter the war. This was okay in parts and dull in others and the acting was just too OTT.
“The Dominion is in a position to threaten Vulcan, Ando, Tellar, Alpha Centauri.”
“I’ve locked him in his quarters, I’ve also left him with the distinct impression that if he attempts to force the door open - it may explode.”
“I’d like this order in writing please Sir.”
“The man who started the war with the Dominion.”
“To be honest my opinion of Starfleet officers is so low, you’d have to work very hard indeed to disappoint me.”
“I look forward to seeing your station, while it’s still here that is.”
“The Dominion assassinated a Romulan senator.”
“On a diplomatic mission.”
“That changes everything.”
Finally there was a season 3 ‘Xena Warrior Princess’ ep ‘Sacrifice, part 1’ in which Callsito shows up again to prance, Hope is being reborn, there are silly fights, Ares lurks and a death cult does death cult stuff. There is bad acting, lots of talking and Ares switches sides for no clear reason. Gabrielle is known to the death cult as The Betrayer for turning her back on Hope. This was tiresome. The Fates do stuff. Ares calls in Gabrielle’s debt from ‘The Debt, part 1’. There are dated SFX and Hope returns.
“Why shouldn’t we worship her?”
“We were never told her name because it was said that to speak it was obscene blasphemy.”