epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Wildcat’s of St Trinian’s +Sherlock Holmes In Washington +Sherlock Holmes Faces Death

Wildcat’s of St Trinian’s (1980)

This was the 5th in the series and is considered the lost St Trinian’s film as it is ignored. Shelia Hancock is the mad headmistress of the school which has a sign by the gate that proclaims: ‘Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here’ and the school song contains the lyrics: ‘Trample on the weakest and glory in their plight’.

Flash Harry is drawn into the pupil’s desire to form a trade union of schoolgirls to demand stuff otherwise they’ll strike. Flash Harry advises them to infiltrate other girls’ schools and create a closed shop. So the St Trinian’s mob abduct and replace a princess.

There is bad acting, the teachers are paranoid delusional nut jobs and St Trinian’s is a petty, vindictive and violently hierarchical place. This tries hard but just isn’t funny. There is excessive nudity, Flash Harry is offensive and the plot is incoherent. The Ministry of Education and the teachers try to foil the strike and naturally the terrible schoolgirls from hell triumph.

Best Lines:
“They’re even more unpopular at home than they are here. If that’s possible.”

“You gotta hand her back.”
“We can’t, not yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because we borrowed 400 quid from her handbag to send out the strike notices.”

Sherlock Holmes In Washington (1943)

Boring evil men on a train are looking for documents. A spy is abducted. Sherlock Holmes in called in and he and Watson fly to the US to find the secret papers. Holmes treats Watson like a moron and the microfilm plot is dull. I swear ‘Due South’ borrowed the plot of the film for a two part episode back in the 90s.

Holmes wears a hideous suit. Watson embraces US slang, chews gum and slurps a milkshake. Why was Watson written like such a fool? Why would Holmes have such a stupid friend? This had bad acting, a woman with no agency, propaganda and was boring. Naturally Holmes foils the villains who have rap sheets longer than Lindsay Lohan’s.

Best Line:
“Don’t underrate that Englishman. I have several friends who did. They now reside in some of the best prisons in England.”

Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943)

This is a vast improvement in the series and is based on ‘The Adventure of the Musgrave Ritual’. The WW2/Nazis theme is played down and the gothic tone is revived. Watson is overseeing a county estate that has been turned into a convalescent home for officers. The vile family who own the estate have secrets and a murderer is lurking. Holmes shows up and solves the mystery, unmasks the killer but does not explain why the clock strikes 13.

This has Lestrade (stupider than ever), talk of combat fatigue (the 40s term for PTSD?), a document signed by Henry VIII, a human chess game, a raven and a cameo by Peter Lawford. His was okay.

Best Lines:
“We knows what we knows.”

“Don’t loiter, you won’t be welcome.”

“Simple reasoning. A child could do it.”
“Not your child Watson.”

“Grim old pile, very spooky.”

“Ghosts don’t stab people in the neck do they? Or do they?”
“Not well bred ghosts Watson.”

“Scotland Yard’s already taken charge.”
“Oh really? That’s unfortunate.”

“Don’t you lie to me woman.”

“Doors don’t lock themselves.”
“They do in this house.”

“He will get lost Sir.”
“Let him.”
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