epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Trailers & a 1999 tape tale

‘Da Vinci’s Demons’ trailer
Da Vinci wears a billowing shirt as he has romps in Renaissance Florence. Did I hear Alexander Siddig’s voice? This looks good.

Best Line:
“One day all that you see here will fall under Rome’s rule.”

‘Elementary’ 1x12 promo
Who is Vinnie Jones supposed to be? As long as TPTB don’t cast Andrew Scott as M, they’ll be fine.

‘Last Resort’ 1x11 promo
Things get worse.

‘Defiance’ trailer
Weird alien ships, a ruined Saint Louis, everyone poses like they’re in a music video, an annoying redhead does annoying things and Julie Benz is in this.

Best Line:
“Everytime we get ahead, you blow it for us.”

‘Urban Legend’ TV spot
This was silly even for 1999.

I am reading ‘The Rook’.

Cleared out a tape from 1999. It began with a ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’ ep ‘Valiant’ in which Jake and Nog fly off in a runabout, get attacked by Jem’Hadar and then rescued by the USS Valiant. The ship is crewed by Starfleet cadets and was on a training cruise when it was trapped behind enemy lines. All the officers were killed so the cadets are on a mission and they all enunciate like William Shatner. They are deeply misguided and all but one of them dies. This was well intentioned if not very interesting. Jake acts like a twit, the cadet’s big attack fails and the Valiant and its escape pods are destroyed in a flurry of dated SFX.

Best Lines:
“He got everyone killed.”

“He still calls Luna the moon, like it’s the only one or something.”

“Our mission was to circumnavigate the entire Federation before returning home.”

Then there was a ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ ep ‘Relativity’ which was a time travel tale with techno babble. Enough said.

Best Lines:
“Have you met?"
“Too many times.”

Then there was a ‘Xena Warrior Princess’ ep ‘If The Shoe Fits’ in which a child Princess runs away and she and her bad wig stumble across the gang of idiots. As Xena and co escort her home they tell her various versions of the Cinderella tale. Cue more ugly wigs, ‘whimsical’ music, musical interludes, drag, silly voices and a homage to ‘Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In’ of all things. This was not as funny as it thought it was. Then finally there was a ‘Due South’ ep ‘Red, White or Blue’ in which a villain from a previous ep goes on trial, his crazy militia buddies show up to free him and Vecchio and Fraser fall out. This had way too much yap and idiot plotting.

‘Sherlock’ Quotes:
“What are you typing?”
“You mean me.”
“Well you’re typing a lot.”

“Shoot Doctor Watson.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’, Brendan sneers, Dr Paul continues to be an over achieving nutter, Esther is maniac depressive but no-one cares and wasn’t Ruby illiterate, so how was she able to create Esther hate sites? Sinead cries and her OTT eye makeup does not smear, Ruby blames Esther for Bart and his hoodie and his weed running away. Everyone turns their backs on Esther. Sienna annoys. Will cracks up, makes a spectacle of himself and then chucks himself down a flight of stairs for attention. Why are TPTB turning him into the new Warren Fox?

Best Lines:
What kind of sicko uses their friends dying for attention?”

“Nobody wants you.”
Tags: da vincis demons, elementary, last resort, sherlock, star trek, tape tales, thoughts, trailers

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