epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: If Looks Could Kill (1991)

Michael (Richard Grieco of ‘21 Jump Street’, ‘Booker’ and ‘Veronica Mars’) fails to graduate high school because of never attending his French class. So his parents pay for him to go on a school trip to France so he’ll graduate. Michael is mistaken for a spy with the same name as him and wacky hijinks ensue.

The evil baddies (Roger Rees and Linda Hunt) plan a new unified Europe under their rule and Michael and his out of control eyebrows and greasy hair must foil them. This features a cameo by the lead singer of The Who and is also known as ‘Teen Agent’.

It is a showpiece of horrible 80s clothes and hair, the French teacher is menaced for the crime of wanting Michael to learn and his classmates are mistaken for mercenaries. Michael saves the day in a flurry of bad acting and ludicrous action despite being an irresponsible idiot and looking about 30. The irrational villain does a motive rant, there is terrible SFX and malign plotting is foiled by a guy with overlarge underpants and too much hair gel. This has some okay comedy despite too much swearing and violence for a parody.

Best Lines:
“I hope you like pumping gas Michael.”

“What is this?”

“We must sink to his level.”

“Chewable plastic explosives, sugarless of course.”

“French class reject!”

“My school ID, my fake ID.”
Tags: movie review, veronica mars

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