epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Last Resort 1x08 + Elementary 1x09 &1x10 + Alcatraz 1x08 Reviewed

Big Chicken Dinner

Tani’s father shows up to moan. Serrat causes trouble. Chaplin has a belated Thanksgiving dinner that ends badly and results in a trial and a riot. Kendal hangs out with Booth. There is bad acting.

We get background info on Grace. Kylie talks and Christine plans to get on a boat to Sainte Marina. Christine does some ham fisted manipulation of Paul. Kendal throttles someone. There is an idiot ending to this dumb ep and it is clear that everyone is going mad.

Who set up the comm unit that Cortez is using? Why is nobody wondering where the COB is? Why won’t Serrat button his shirt? Why was Kendal in North Korea? What was with the singing?

Best Lines:
“I’ve been thrown in the hole in 16 different counties. Well I guess 17 depending on what you call this place.”
“You get caught a lot. You ever think about a different line of work?”

“He wanted revenge. He got it.”

Do It To Yourself

Watson is asked for help by an old boyfriend. Holmes looks into a murder. In between the secrets and twists, there is product placement and this was dull.

Best Lines:
“I’m afraid he’s quite dead.”

“He threw up there.”

“Hey we were victims too.”

“I am British. This is not tea.”

“Not everyone’s a criminal mastermind.”

“Thank god for stupid people.”

“His favourite plaything slash punching bag.”

The Leviathan

Holmes has a threesome and then has to help a safe manufacturer whose impregnable safe has been busted into for the second time. Watson has a meal with her family. Holmes uncovers the identity of a modern day Raffles in about 30 seconds and then solves the safe cracking mystery. Holmes is a jackass. This was good but what does Watson get out of hanging out with him? Why does she pour $500 champagne down the sink?

Best Line:
“Before you say anything I’d like to remind you that I’m holding an axe.”

“Do I have to find you a drug test?”

“Very noble indeed. I don’t like her.”

The Ames Brothers

Two brothers and a guard run around Alcatraz looking for civil war gold. Diego, Hauser and Rebecca have to save the day. Why didn’t Hauser’s high tech toys notice the 63s lurking? Why is Rebecca so dumb? Where is Ray Archer?

There is more info about the mysterious keys, the creepy warden, what was under Alcatraz and Ray Archer’s plan back in the 60s but the stupid plotline of the violent idiot Ames brothers and their lackey menacing Hauser and co ruin this ep.

The 63s of the week are the usual idiot violent thugs. Hauser is shot but walks it off. Rebecca kills someone with a bed. This was awful and makes the long ago cancelled ‘Prey’ look like high art.

Best Lines:
“Update a 50 year old escape map? Sure that’s no problem.”

“What am I whispering for?”

“I’m telling Rebecca that you own the ‘Twilight’ movies on blu-ray!”
Tags: alcatraz, elementary, last resort

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