epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Grimm (2011 - 2017) Season 1 Review, part 1

Pilot
Cop Nick Burkhardt (played by some bland guy who looks like the bland guy from ‘Superman Returns’) looks into the death of a jogger. His needlessly freaky aunt Marie is weird. His girlfriend Juliette is a vapid shallow love interest. His partner Hank annoys. Sergeant Wu (Reggie Lee of ‘Prison Break’) is a glorified secretary to Nick and Hank. Nick’s boss Renard (Sasha Roiz of ‘Caprica’) lurks and an annoying woman Adalind is evil.

Nick soon learns that the murder suspect is not your usual suspect. There is bad acting, a monster attack, there is a mysterious object and it’s sort of like ‘Once Upon A Time’ only this was crap.

Nick finds out he is a Grimm aka a monster hunter. Aunty Marie has a trailer full of Grimm gear and it looks like a sex torture dungeon. This drags on and Nick teams up with a reformed monster named Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell of ‘Prison Break’) to do monster hunting. Various people gurn and this was rubbish and I can’t believe it came from the guy who created ‘Angel’, ‘Profit’ and ‘The Inside’.

Best Lines:
“The rest of her is off trail.”

“What a way to go.”

“This isn’t a fairytale.”

“Bad things happen when we get into a pack.”


Bears Will Be Bears
Two obnoxious punks break into a house and learn the owners are Wesen aka monsters. Nick and his pretty hair learns more mythology: Reapers are dedicated to killing Grimms and there are other Grimms out there. Renard has plans for Nick. Juliette bores.

Monroe shows up and wacky music plays. The annoying Wesen family annoy. There is bad acting and a firm grasp of the idiot ball by all. Monroe pulls a bad guys arm off and the ending was dumb. This bored.

Beeware.
Nick’s stoic expression is inviolate. A woman is murdered via flash mob. Are flash mobs still a thing? People are flippant, cgi bees attack and this show defies logic. I am losing hope that this show will become good. Juliette talks too much. Why doesn’t Nick tell Hank or Juliette that he is a Grimm? A beewoman (Nana Visitor of ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’) lurks, there are really fake honeycombs and Adalind lurks. There is idiot dialogue and this was dire.

Best Lines:
“Easy there 5-0.”

“Don’t you dare say heel.”

“There’s been another flash mob murder.”


Lonelyhearts
Nick wouldn’t have to keep going to Monroe for information if he’d just read the Grimm tomes. Nick bores. There’s a dead woman and a Reaper lurks until Renard slices his ear off. Everyone save Renard is an idiot. This was bad with a stupid ending.

Best Lines:
“Piss off.”
“Okay.”


Danse Macabre
A nasty teacher dies. Hank, Nick and Wu the only cops in Portland look into it. Juliette obsesses over a fridge. Nick and Hank harass trailer trash. Some 1%er bullies are about to get theirs until Nick interferes. I actually fast forwarded through most of this ep as I couldn’t stand any of the obnoxious characters.

The Three Bad Wolves
Nick needs to learn to control his micro expressions as Wesens keep learning who he is. A Wesen’s house is blown up. His sister is a stupid aggressive dumb annoyance who throws herself at Monroe and is violent and stupid. This is like a bad urban fantasy novel. Daniel Roebuck of ‘Lost’ and ‘Nash Bridges’ is the baddie of the week. This was stupid.

Best Line:
“He’s a cop and a Grimm. Is that legal?”

Let Your Hair Down
A Rapunzel type Wesen lurks in the woods. Storytime is over as Nick and Monroe head off to find her. Claudia Christian of ‘Babylon 5’, ‘Hexed’ and ‘The Hidden’ guest stars. Crazy survivalists lurk and this was actually good.

Game Ogre
People are killed by an escaped prisoner who is actually an ogre. The ogre is after Hank and beats up Nick. Juliette is dumb and blubbers and the beaten up Nick has to comfort her. Hank is over wrought. Monroe saves the day and this was good.

Best Line:
“These guys carry grudges to the grave and usually it’s your grave.”

Of Mouse and Men
A mean man is murdered. Juliette bored. She and Nick haven’t improved their security even after an ogre broke into the house and beat Nick up. Monroe gets beat up and again I watched most of this on fast forward as I just did not care.

Best Line:
“You saw a snake dude and lived to tell about it?”

Organ Grinder
Homeless people are being targeted by an evil doctor (Valerie Cruz of ‘Hidden Palms’ and ‘The Dresden Files’) for their blood and organs. There is bad acting, Wesens snacking on humans and Juliette being boring. I did not care and again the fast forward button was employed.

Tarantella
Juliette is stupid and annoying. A spiderwoman (Amy Acker of ‘Angel’, ‘Dollhouse’ and ‘Cabin in the Woods’) eats men. Nick deals with some Wesens who know where he lives. This was dull and I did not care about spiderwoman and her creepy ferret face.

Best Line:
“Be good or a Grimm will come and cut your head off.”
Tags: battlestar galactica/caprica, dollhouse, grimm, hidden palms, prison break, profit, star trek, the inside
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