epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Music:

Alcatraz 1x06 + Elementary 1x07 + Last Resort 1x06 + The Town 1x01 Reviewed

Paxton Petty

A bomber from 1960 has returned and he likes to blow people up with landmines. Rebecca is incompetent. Hauser and Lucy had a relationship before she ended up in a coma. Back in the 60s Lucy wasn’t officially at Alcatraz. Nobody really wonders about who is helping the 63s. Petty is sick. Rebecca is stupid. There is bad acting. Hauser is in peril. An obviously doomed friend of Rebecca’s shows up. Hauser gets pro-active. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“There were no female doctors on Alcatraz.”

“The crown jewel of American penal science.”

One Way To Get Off

Holmes the smug jackass sulks. A killer copies murders from 13 years previously. A convicted killer (Keith Szarabajka of ‘Angel’ and ‘Profit’) large hams. Watson finds out something about Irene Adler. But I don’t care as Holmes and his gurning is such a smug hateful prat.

Best Lines:
“I left some urine in your room.”

“If I lived here, I wouldn’t be here either.”

“I did not take her passing well.”

Another Fine Navy Day

Someone launches a chemical attack on the island. Julian is involved and yet again no-one shoots him. Tani and King continue their shallow love affair. The Navy SEALS are jerks, the NATO pair annoy and Kendal has a long boring trip while off his head..

No-one asks how the chemical weapon or the mercenaries got to the island. Sophie whines and is ever useless. But while Chaplin and the crew of the USS Colorado were passed out from oxygen deprivation, something serious took place. King wonders about what he and his buddies did in Pakistan. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“Something bad’s coming.”

“Did you enjoy your cavity search by the way?”
“Did you?”

The Town (2012) 1x01

This is ITV’s latest drama. A husband and wife shockingly commit suicide. The wife’s mother Betty (Julie McKenzie of ‘Marple’) flusters, the teenage daughter Jodie runs off to act out and man child son Mark (Andrew Scott of ‘Sherlock’) returns home to sulk and shout.

The town has some eccentric residents among them the local slut, the only lesbian in the village, the nasty undertaker, the obligatory chav pack and the drunken mayor (Martin Clunes) who starts bar fights.

Mark stomps around the town being a surly shouty idiot, Betty wants the kindly police liaison officer to go away and the ignored Jodie hangs out with a boy from the posh school. Mark stomps around his former home being annoying and finds out that his parents were bombarded with weird text messages and anonymous letters before their suicide pact. He also gets drunk and runs around his first love’s garden roaring to the horror of her, her husband and young daughter.

This is good, it was like ‘Twin Peaks’ but without the possessed log. Mark decides to stay in town but not because of his sister who faces being put into care but because of his first love Alice. Charming. Oh and the fact his parents killed themselves and the local copper could care less may also factor in somewhere. I enjoyed this in spite of Andrew Scott and his dreadful acting.

Best Lines:
“Quality’s not an option around here is it? All the men are either 40 or 12 or they smell. Quantity’s all we’ve got.”

“Your granddad slept with prostitutes, that’s were the money went...none of us know the ones we love.”

“Off you go, back to Hogwarts.”

“There’s a different lad up her every week.”

“Get your knickers on, we’re gonna be late.”

“He looks gay.”
“He’s from London.”
“Oh right well, that explains it.”

“I’ll go into care. Gran will end up in one of those massive houses that smell of piss.”
Tags: alcatraz, elementary, last resort, profit, sherlock, the town
Comments for this post were disabled by the author