Robbie the recruit who was manipulated into becoming a Cleaner back in season 1 returns at last. Percy plots about Project Crossbow. Ryan Fletcher annoys. Nikita angsts. Sean annoys. There is bad acting. ‘Wargames’ is ripped off. Ari and Amanda are AWOL. There is season 3 set up. Percy makes demands. Everyone has a firm grasp of the idiot ball. This was bad.
“We just want to talk to you.”
“Yeah that’s the way it always starts. Next thing you know you got electrodes attached to your privates.”
“Walk away and I won’t hurt you.”
“I’d say let’s beat it out of him. But I think he’d only enjoy it.”
“He basically has control of his own personal Deathstar.”
“Any hillbilly with a pickup full of fertiliser nitrate could have done that.”
“What exactly are we talking about here?”
“Horrible gruesome death. First we would have to disable the Crossbow control boards. Break in, fight our way through teeming hordes of psycho killers and make our way down to the server room which is on the 9th sub-level aka the basement of hell.”
“The combined might of the United States military forces is helpless against a madman, in New Jersey?”
In fairytale land, Rumpy will protect a town from the Ogre Wars if Belle (Emilie De Ravin of ‘Lost’) will comes live with him and be his cleaning woman/shallow love interest. Belle agrees to go to protect her family and friends as Rumpy overacts. Belle comes to love the giggling Rumpy via Stockholm syndrome. Then the Evil Queen shows up to wreck everything once again and make Rumpy cry.
In Storybrooke Ruby, Ashley and Mary Margaret go out for drinks. Mr Gold is finally worn down by Regina’s crap. Mary Margaret and David’s tacky affair drags on. Regina has another secret. This was okay. What became of Rumpy’s son?
“You are the lowest.”
“You will clean the Dark Castle.”
Muse of Fire
Another vigilante shows up in Starling City. Quentin Lance is snotty, Thea needs a damn good thrashing and Tommy Merlyn sniffs after Laurel. The psychopath Oliver goes on a date with the fat mouthed daughter of a mob boss. He swiftly learns that he and Helena have a lot in common a la ‘Batman Returns’.
The mob boss’ nasty enforcer Nick (Tahmoh Penikett of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ and ‘Dollhouse’) lurks. Moira and Thea have boring talks. China White (Kelly Hu) and her cheap Lady Gaga wig shows up again. Diggle annoys.
In what was the best scene of this series so far in my opinion Tommy Merlyn learns he has been cut off by his dad (John Barrowman) who tells his son he is a lazy, irresponsible joke. Suddenly Merlyn Snr is my favourite character. He isn’t a baddie, every word he said was true.
Oliver and Helena romance each other in a graveyard as a watery ballad plays, I am having horrendous ‘Smallville’ flashbacks. Nasty Nick shows up to smack people around. Oliver and Helena have some neck breaking foreplay.
This wasn’t good apart from the epic Tommy Merlyn is dissed by his dad scene. The acting was bad and why are TPTB wasting screen time on Laurel and Tommy Merlyn? What do Moira and Merlyn Snr have planned for the city?
“Oliver Queen, the rich man’s Lindsay Lohan.”
“You’re going to burn in hell for what you’ve done.”
“It’ll be worth it.”