epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Switch 1x04 Reviewed

The Anniversary

As the CW coven gets ready for their 5th anniversary - there is a goat’s head in the fridge, Stella is obsessed with a mustard pitch at work, snivelling Hannah is selfish and Grace is mugged.

To stop Grace’s infernal blubbering and bad social responses, the CW cast a confidence spell on the wet hen Grace. This leads to her cutting the headphone cable of a guy who is listening to Flo Rida on his ipod at excessive volume and chasing her love interest all over Camden. He’s in a painfully wannabe hip indie band named NotNowKato. Grace sexts him, he is painfully dim and full of copulation driven self indulgence.

Jude tries to sell her rubbish designs on a market stall but makes the fatal mistake of having Hannah as her salesgirl. Hannah is useless and wrecks everything. Hannah is an inept under achieving bitter disappointment. I like this show but I loathe Hannah. She is a cesspit of abject failure and is a rotten friend. She never does anything and is a spoilt brat with no manners. In short she is a badly brought up, ungrateful, spoilt, selfish, self pitying, dreadful taker who is ridiculously lazy.

Stella stumbles into work badly dressed as ever and learns that the Witches of Kensington have planted the vapid India in the company to ruin Stella’s life. It still isn’t clear why the WOK loathe the CW. The WOK have bespelled the company to love India even when she plans to pitch mustard as an alternative to thrush cream.

But Stella foils the WOK who are cruel and say totes a lot. Grace is seething after bring treated with distain by her mancandy and so tries to beat up a mugger and ends up in hospital. Thanks to the power of friendship the day is saved and one of the WOK is redeemed. This was good even if when Stella punched a WOK in the face, she clearly missed by two feet.

Best Lines:
“I’m not a bad person. I take my mum to church, she’s got to wear a nappy.”

“I draw the line at organic sanitary towels.”

“Solstice camp flashback.”

“I love this more than my penis.”

“What are the three basic principles of advertising?”
“Uh shopping, pictures, shopping.”

“She is hotter than a Fukushima reactor.”

“You can look forward to a diminishing audience and your venue’s slow decline into a chavpit with pink drinks and mirrors everywhere.”

“The tramps of Camden.”

“You live together because you’re poor though right? Like really, really poor? Or because you actually enjoy it? How does that work?”

“What’s the point of being witches if you need all four of you conscious to do anything?”

“Major shock and awe.”

“Who do you think you are? Gandalf?”

“Complete trashfest.
“Name, gutter, major dragage.”
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