epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Last Resort 1x03 + Elementary 1x04 + Alcatraz 1x03 Reviewed

Eight Bells

Some of the crew rebel. The USS Colorado crew are ordered to surrender. Chaplin’s dead son is used as a bargaining tool. The COB stirs the pot. Julian the wannabe drug lord causes boring problems. Meanwhile the attack on Pakistan is being justified and the irritating Kylie helps Admiral Sheppard.

Tani and King do boring stuff in the jungle while the USS Colorado does ‘The Hunt for Red October’ stuff near the US military blockade. Three Colorado crew members are being held hostage by Julian who won’t button his shirt. Kendal gets angry and the tendons on his neck stand out. Chaplin grits his teeth. This was okay. The subplots with King, Tani and Julian dragged this down.

Best Line:
“You’re a parasite who traffics in war.”

Rat Race

Joan gets a blind date. Holmes is hired by a Wall Street cabal and uncovers a possible sociopathic killer in their midst. Sadly this is no ‘Profit’. It’s a morass of bad acting, Joan having boring man issues. Holmes having heroin issues, Gregson proving he isn’t dumb and Holmes being saved from becoming wormbait. This was mediocre paint by numbers stuff.

Best Lines:
“If I wanted drugs, I could always just climb out the window.”

“Foam is not a category of food.”

Kit Nelson

A 1960 child killer appears in the present. Lucy is comatose. Hauser continues to subjugate the 63s. People overact wildly, Rebecca is ridiculously flippant, something happened to Dr Soto when he was 11 and this was abysmal. The ending was weird and I wonder why was the Alcatraz warden so weird, why is the acting so bad and what is the point of this show?

Best Lines:
“They thought it was too creepy to be true.”

“I take no offence off your hostile tones.”
Tags: alcatraz, elementary, last resort

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