Arising

Cassandra is a double agent for Gogol. Michael has one of his rage blackouts. Nikita whines. The ugly MI6 boss annoys. Sean whines. Semak gets his. I don’t care about Katya, Alex, Zetrov, Cassandra or the whiner that Nikita has become. MI6 are portrayed as ungrateful incompetent idiots. Katya is stupid. Ari and Amanda want Zetrov. Michael sends his son away mostly because Nikita is jealous. Stuff blows up. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“Carla was like a mother to you.”
“Who taught me not to trust mother figures.”

“Let’s see how fast they turn on Cassandra.”

~
The Heart is A Lonely Hunter

The Sheriff gurns and kisses Emma. This causes him to start remembering his true life as the Huntsman. Flashbacks to Fairytale land show how the Evil Queen killed Snow White’s father and hired the Huntsman to do the same to her unloved stepdaughter.

Emma is rude and inappropriate. Mary Margaret talks too much. Mr Gold and his up north accent stirs the pot. The Sherriff/Huntsman is a terrible actor. The annoying moppet Henry annoys. The Evil Queen overacts. Emma and Regina have a ridiculous punch up.

The Huntsman defies the Evil Queen so she rips his heart out and turns him into her sex slave. And in Storybrooke Regina kills the Sheriff by crushing his heart. Oh she has all the charm of an armpit doesn’t she? This was okay but did that cloth eared bint Snow White ever wonder or care about the Huntsman’s fate?

Best Lines:
“There are no wolves in Storybrooke, not the literal kind anyway.”

“I shared a secret with her and she couldn’t keep it.”

“Take him to my bedchamber.”

~
You Win Or You Die

Charles Dance (of ‘Trinity’) shows up. Is he Jamie and Cersei’s dad? Ned confronts Cersei and she admits her children are Jamie’s. How very ‘Flowers in the Attic’. There are no healthy romantic relationships here.

Littlefinger preens and will not go away. A woman from beyond the wall is put to work in Stark castle. Something is stirring beyond the wall. Robert is fatally wounded and makes Ned regent.

There is an assassination attempt, Jon Snow tantrums when his Night’s Watch career doesn’t go to plan, Jorah triple deals, Drogo does not wear a shirt, the new ‘king’ tantrums, Cersei is trash and Littlefinger is on screen too much

Best Lines:
“You’ve served as a glorified body guard for two kings. One a madman, the other a drunk.”

“Your sister was a corpse and I was a living girl and he loved her more than me.”

“King Robert...murdered by a pig.”

“There wasn’t gone old man, they were sleeping and they ain’t sleeping no more.”