Percy tries to stir up Division to rebel against Amanda. Alex is in Russia looking to reclaim her birthright. Sean shows up to annoy. Nikita, Birkhoff, Michael and Carla do boring stuff. Nikita whines and then she and her gang learn Ryan Fletcher isn’t dead. I don’t care about Sean, Ryan Fletcher or Alex’s stupid mother. This boring episode gave us an idiot gunfight, a death and a revelation.
“She left you duct taped to a swingset.”
“I’ve seen hoarders with better organisational systems.”
“I really hope for his sake that’s not a euphemism.”
“Open fire on everything.”
David (the former Prince Charming) returns home with his irritating wife. Henry blathers about the curse, how does he know? David regards his wife as disposable and plans to run off with Mary Margaret and her bad haircut. I don’t care about the droning David/Mary Margaret tedium.
In fairytale land, the King of wherever (Alan Dale of ‘Lost’) loses one son. But needs to seal a treaty with King Midas. So he makes a deal with the overacting Rumpy - why do people keep on doing that?!? He can’t get his dead son back but he can get his dead son’s long lost identical twin brother to pretend to be his dead son. So that’s how a sheep herder became Prince Charming. Okay I didn’t see that coming. Fake son and fake dad have to bond.
Meanwhile in the tedious Storybrooke plotline: the irritating Dr Whale irritates, Regina and her bad overacting irritates, Emma and Mary Margaret drama queens and then David remembers his disposable wife and decides to stick it out. This was okay.
“Did I not mention there was another?”
A Golden Throne
Two families are nudged toward war because they are so arrogant and dumb. The Queen is a snot, Ned is left to run the kingdom while Robert is off being useless, crass and vile. The Stark’s ward is ill-used. The Starks are morons, one and all. The Horse Lord Queen eats a raw horse heart. Her brother is a moron. Meanwhile the imp escapes his cell and his captors. Lady Stark is a twit, Robert is gross, Ned makes pronouncements, Sansa is a spoilt brat and the Prince orates. This was bored. Ned realises something. The Horse Lord gets rid of his annoying brother in law after the moron runs his mouth one time too many.
“She truly is a Queen today.”
“Sometimes possession is an abstract concept.”
“You are no king.”
“This time find a smaller cell with a steeper floor.”
“He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.”