The noxious Henry berates his mother. Regina threatens Emma and offers her apples, subtle she is not. Flashbacks to fairytale land show how the Evil Queen got and cast the Dark Curse. The Evil Queen is a full on soap opera psycho. She hates Snow White because Snow White ruined her happiness. The Evil Queen pays the price for the Dark Curse.
The local newspaper is Storybrooke is run by the Evil Queen’s former Magic Mirror (Giancarlo Esposito of ‘Breaking Bad’). The Sheriff and his wandering accent is ineffectual. Henry is OTT precocious, how does he know about the Dark Curse? Emma (who is played by the poor man’s Sheryl Lee) gets arrested again thanks to Henry’s idiot shrink Dr Hopper (Raphael Sbarge of ‘Star Trek Voyager’).
Emma cuts down Regina’s apple tree and Regina gets Emma flung out of the B&B. Henry acts like a spoilt brat. Mr Gold is knowing. This was okay but it is like ‘Gilmore Girls’ on meth.
“I’m your mother.”
“No you’re not.”
“There are lines even we shouldn’t cross.”
“No you’re not.”
“You’re my only friend.”
Jamie and the unwashed Ned chat. The Mad King killed Ned’s father. Jamie stabbed the Mad King in the back. Ned learns that King Robert is an idiot. The Prince and his squeaky voice annoy. Who is Warden of the North while Ned is at King’s Landing?
The spoilt brat liar daughter brats. There is blathering about winter and the long night. Lady Stark is an idiot. Jon trains with the Night's Watch. Littlefinger annoys. The bride realises she is Queen of a horde of warriors. Her brother is a moron and throws a temper tantrum. The Nights Watch get no respect.
Who built the wall and why? There is a baby on the way and many agendas. What lies beyond the wall of fake ice? Shadows? This was okay.
“This room was silent as a crypt cept for the screams of course.”
“The truth will be what you make it.”
“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.”
“Winter is coming. This one will be long and dark. Things will come with it.”
“The Starks. Quick tempers, slow minds.”
“I don’t take orders from savages or their sluts.”
“Half the boys you’ve seen training will die north of the wall.”
“When that wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it.”
“The Khaleesi have baby inside her.”
“The Nights Watch is the only thing standing between the realm and what lies beyond.”