epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Once Upon A Time 1x01 + Game Of Thrones 1x02 Reviewed

Pilot

In fairytale land, Snow White married Prince Charming but the Evil Queen (wearing a cast off outfit from ‘Tin Man’) promised to unleash a curse. The curse dumped all the fairy tale characters into the real world with no memory of their past in a time locked town called Storybrooke.

Emma Swan meets Henry the horrible brat son she gave up for adoption. She drives him back to his adoptive mother in Storybrooke. Emma soon notices that the adoptive mom Regina aka Evil Queen is nasty. She decides to stay to keep an eye on the horrible Regina.

Snow White (Gennifer Goodwin of ’Big Love’) is now a teacher with a bad haircut. Prince Charming is comatose and Robert Carlyle (of ‘SGU’) lurks and overacts. Emma Swan is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming but she and they do not know that. Emma was never placed in her crib with a unicorn mobile instead she was tossed into a magic wardrobe to save her from the curse.

Henry knows stuff and annoys. The town clock tower does not work. This soap opera is better than the crappy ‘The 10th Kingdom’. It’s enjoyable, I’ll see how it goes.

Best Lines:
“No more happy endings!”

“This is my happy ending!”

“I’m sorry that my heart attack interfered with your plans to sleep your way down the Eastern seaboard.”


~
The Kingsroad

The new bride is not happy with her horse lord but she learns some sex tips and things pick up. The snotty Prince snots. Bran is not dead. The Queen talks about her dead son in order to create the illusion of depth and empathy. Jon heads off to join the Night's Watch who have guarded the wall for 8000 years. Against what one might ask?

Lady Stark is mean to the bastard, probably because he seems to be Ned’s favourite. Who is Jon’s mother? Why do I think Jon will end up as King when this is all over?

An assassin gets eaten by Bran’s wolf. The repulsive Prince annoys and can’t act. Ned Stark realises the King is a bad King and that the Royal Family are horrible people. A wolf goes to wolf heaven and a boy is killed all because one stupid Stark daughter wants to marry the Prince who is obviously not the son of the King.

This was ridiculous, the only character I felt for was poor dead Lady the direwolf.

Best Lines:
“Little brother.”
“Beloved siblings.”

“There are still those in the Seven Kingdoms who call me usurper.”

“He will not cross and if by chance he does. We’ll throw him back into the sea.”

“There’s a war coming Ned.”

“Before my brother bought me for you it was my job to make men happy.”

“My father was the Hand Of The King for 20 years.”
“Until your brother killed that King.”

“You rode him down?”
“He ran, not very fast.”
Tags: game of thrones, once upon a time, stargate
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