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The Scapegoat + Game Of Thrones 1x01 Reviewed

The Scapegoat (2012)

Another ITV drama. It is 1952 and vanilla wafer John Standing (Matthew Rhys) has felt the bitter pill of being fired from his job. He ends up in a dive bar and meets his doppelganger Johnny Spence (Rhys again) in the men’s convenience. They have a chat. Then Johnny runs off and John is mistaken for Johnny by the sarcastic driver/valet George.

John ends up at the Spence mansion with the dreadful Spence family. John bumbles around being dismissed as a wastrel. Johnny’s horrible mother (Eileen Atkins of ‘Robin Hood’) is a morphine addict, his brother Paul (Andrew Scott of ‘Sherlock’) shouts a lot, his sister storms out of rooms constantly and his wife is a wet passive idiot.

The ominous housekeeper looms and Johnny’s daughter demands daddy’s attention. It’s ‘Ringer’ but set in Englandshire. Johnny kind of likes the family and wants to help the family and their foundry. There are mutterings about a contract, a trust fund and John is chased down by Johnny’s cadre of mistresses.

John tries to make everything better and then evil rotter Johnny returns looking for his life back. Somebody gets stuffed into an incinerator and this was good.

Best Lines:
“Had a bugger of a day in town.”

“He’s been drinking. I can smell it from here.”

“And her ladyship?”
“Indisposed Sir and likely to remain so for the rest of the day.”

“That barren stick of a girl.”

“Do you remember when you set fire to my doll’s house?”

“I gave her enough to kill a cow, appropriately enough.”


~
Winter is Coming


A great big wall of ice looms, a man sees things in the snow and gets his head chopped off by Ned Stark (Sean Bean of 'Missing'  who wears a variety of pelts). There is mutterings about what is beyond the wall, wolf pups and impressive opening credits.

Ned Stark is lord of Winterfell which is stuck firmly in the dung ages. The King of the Seven Kingdoms comes to Winterfell to ask Ned to be the new Hand of the King. His Queen (her from ‘The Sarah Connor Chronicles’), her twin brother (him from ‘New Amsterdam’), the King’s snotty looking son and the Queen’s dwarf brother (him from ‘Threshold’) show up to feast and annoy.

Meanwhile in Pentos, a blonde creepy guy who considers himself the true King of the Seven Kingdoms marries his fragile forlorn dim sister off to a warlord (him from ‘Stargate: Atlantis’) who wears excessive eyeliner.

Ned Stark’s bastard son lurks, plotting is afoot, Ned Stark looks grim all the time and needs to wash his hair. Ned Stark’s irritating ‘cute moppet’ son sees something he shouldn’t have and gets dealt with.

This was not that interesting. I can’t believe all the fuss made about this show, it is simply ‘The Tudors’ with more dung.

Best Lines:
“One lot steals a goat from another lot, before you know it they’re ripping each other to pieces.”

“You helped me win the Iron Throne, now help me keep the damn thing.”

“I have a son, you have a daughter, we’ll join our houses.”

“He is one of the finest killers alive and you will be his Queen.”

“Soon you will cross the narrow sea and take back your father’s throne.”

“Let me give you some advice bastard.”

“I piss on
Dothraki omens.”

“The things I do for love.”
Tags: game of thrones, missing, new amsterdam, review, sarah connor chronicles, sherlock, stargate, the americans
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