Michael goes to London to bond with Cassandra and their son. Alex does Percy a favour. Cassandra’s ‘friend’ Nigel is a git. Mamma’s boy Sean plans to honey trap Alex to get Nikita. Sean needs to go away. Cassandra has unexpected secrets. Michael is in peril, again. This was good.
Best Line:
“He shot you, bastard.”
~
A Touch of Cloth (2012) Part 1
The Rundowne Estate is the scene of a murder. Drunken maverick misery guts Jack Cloth (John Hannah) and Anne Oldman (Suranne Jones) investigate. A shrew in forensics fancies Cloth, his boss is horrible, more murders occur and Piers Morgan is mocked. This is an amusing pastiche of overwrought cop shows from the guy who gave us 'Dead Set' and ‘Black Mirror’.
Best Lines:
“This is Maniac FM, the number one station for psychopaths tenderly stroking potential murder weapons in dimly lit lairs nationwide. Now to get you in the mood, here’s the new single from JLS.”
“Never been found dead before, so this is out of character.”
“A sustained and frenzied attack without mercy or toilet breaks.”
“Can you think of anyone who might have wanted your husband to come to harm?”
“Have you seen his TV show?”
“He’s as popular as piss flavoured birthday cake.”
An antique of a bygone era like MySpace or The News of The World.”
“Police have appealed for witnesses and asked the public not to turn up at the scene and stand around staring like ghoulish meercats.”
“People in courtrooms can be so judgemental.”
~
Bad Sugar (2012)
A one off spoof from Channel 4 which mocks bygone soaps like the dire ‘Dirty Sexy Money’ and ‘Titans’. Lucy the horrible gold digger marries the repressed son (Peter Serafinowicz) of a mean old mining magnate.
Her new sisters in law are Daphne the mean drunk and Joan the idiot. There is talk of poisoning, a new will, plotting, bad marriages and shagging. There is a hot vicar and Simon the handyman is dim. Everyone wants the family patriarch to die so they can get his money but he has a surprise for them. This was funny.
Best Line:
“If you’re scared of a bee just think it’s a wood louse with an overcoat and fairy wings.”