epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Chronicle (2012)

This is a dumb found footage movie. Andrew (who has a vile drunk father) and his idiot cousin Matt go to a rave. The duo and Steve go into the woods to look at a hole. There is an alien spaceship or plant or something down there and it gives them superpowers in a spectacle of bad CGI.

Didn’t they already make this movie and call it ‘The Craft’? And there was that terrible movie about male witches who wore tiny Speedos. Andrew is ‘Carrie’, everyone hates him. His father beats him, his mother is dying and Andrew himself is a hateful little punk who causes a car wreck.

This is not a movie, it is an overlong youtube video. There is a school talent show. Matt has a thing for a snotty blogger named Casey. Andrew the moronic little punk does bad things and rampages. This was crap with an incoherent ending.

Best Lines:
“I’m having like a face period.”

“Stop doing things.”

“Almost died dude!”

“Show us some talent!”

“What’s hubris?”
Tags: movie review

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