Rick looks like is on meth, Hershel is a moron and Shane looks like he should be doing adult movies under the name of Rod Senseless. Sophia is still missing, there is none of the promised gun training and Lori lurks around Shane.
Hershel wants them gone, no-one pays attention to the Amityville Horror looking barn and there is a Clive Barker looking zombie in the well. Glenn hooks up with the thankless useless Maggie, neither worries about a zombie showing up and biting their asses. Carol is still not looking for her kid, freeloader.
Andrea and her face full of fillers is an idiot. What happened to the horde of zombies on the road? Hershel has a very irritating manner of expressing himself. Lori is thankless and wanders off into the dark with no fear of zombies. Rick discards his cop uniform. This was terrible.
Chupacabra
They’re still in back ass country. A flashback to the beginning of the outbreak shows the military dropping napalm on cities which was the only effective moment in this ep. Carol was, is and always will be pathetic. The womenfolk (save Andrea) still do the laundry and the cooking. Carol calls Lori their “unofficial first lady”.
Maggie’s mean, they’re still on the damn farm, Shane acts suspiciously and Daryl shoots squirrels. Shane is a yob with obsessive love disorder. Daryl is injured and hallucinates Merle. Daryl rednecks up and saves himself. Jimmy the goob tags along. Dale irritates, Glenn is a sexist idiot and Andrea is just an idiot. This was terrible. Why isn’t Carol looking for her kid? Why did it take so long to discover what was in the barn?
Best Line:
“Look at you lying in the dirt like a used rubber.”
~
Ice Queen
Why doesn’t Michael run for it? He’s stupid and can’t act. The CIA are spectacularly unhelpful. Becca’s really annoying friend Mary shows up to annoy. There is ranting and bad acting. This was a stupid, terrible ep. The CIA git annoyed, there was a speedboat chase and Becca stared down a smug lawyer (Victoria Smurfit).
~
Primeval 5x05
Connor is hoist by his own petard. Philip is monomaniacal. Lester’s worst nightmare was once a mammoth on the M25 but now a T-Rex is wandering down a shopping street. There is bad acting, idiots and Connor takes ages to apologise. This was abysmal.
Anomalies open worldwide, Philip is strangely unconcerned, nobody mentions Ryan and Connor is stupid. Jess is useless, April is a ridiculous baddie and there is bad CGI. No wonder ITV gave up on this.
Best Line:
“What an awkward silence.”
~
Treachery
Emily and Amanda have conflict. Nolan sneers. Declan wants to bang Charlotte. Why are they wasting time on Declan? Lydia will be nursed at the Grayson’s, Lydia is a big faker.
Tyler hangs around like an anal polyp, Conrad is scum and is relived that Frank his loyal minion of 20 years is dead. Amanda throws herself at Jack. What was up with the juvie boss who set Emily on her vengeance path? Ashley hates her job and Emily. Nolan bores.
Why was Emily in a maximum security juvenile correctional facility. Daniel doesn’t wonder why a rich girl ended up in foster care and a maximum security juvenile correctional facility. This was boring.
Best Lines:
“Your father teach you that, or was he too busy blowing up planes?”
“That house is toxic.”