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Altitude (2010)

Five annoying jerks get onto a plane. Sara (Jessica Lowndes of ‘90210’) is the pilot and her passengers are a gang of unpleasant morons. They fly into a storm, a guy free climbs onto the tail, the plane looks like a model and a monster lurks.

There is no tension or empathy just bad acting. This was overwrought toxic waste. There is more drama on ‘Hollyoaks’ with Mercedes framing Mitzeee for stabbing her.

Best Lines:
“What happened? Where are we? Why the hell am I tied up?”

“Where the hell’s the ground?”

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Shaun (Simon Pegg) is a slacker with a loser BFF in Ed and a fed up girlfriend in Liz. Then the zombies rise. This full of homages to other zombie films. Shaun overlooks ominous newspaper headlines, strange background events, ominous news reports and dismisses zombies on the street as drunks. He is too busy hating his step dad and solving his problems with alcohol to notice the dead walking.

In fact Shaun wakes up on the morning of the zombie apocalypse hung-over and walks to the corner shop and back without noticing the zombie apocalypse happening all around him. Shaun and Ed finally notice the zombies when they invade the garden.

Shaun has to save the day and fight off zombies with vinyl. This was better than ‘The Walking Dead’. Shaun wields a cricket bat, Martin Freeman of ‘Sherlock’ has a tiny cameo, there is sap, violence and humour. This was good. However when Shaun slips in the newsagent, there is no blood. Why does Pete share a house with the losers Ed and Shaun? Plus ‘Hot Fuzz’ was crap.

Best Lines:
“Ooooh, he’s got an arm off!”

“We’re coming to get you Barbra!”

“I put half a Mars bar in the glove box once and he chased me round the garden with a bit of wood.”

“I’m quite all right Barbra, I ran it under a cold tap.”

“It’s a load of overblown nonsense. A lot of drug nuts running wild.”

“Over where?”
“Over there.”
“Just there over the 20 garden fences?”

Passengers (2008)

A plane crashes and Claire tries to help the survivors including Eric (Patrick Wilson). There is hysterical screaming and plot incoherence. This was boring with an obvious twist and much sap. Another failed scare fest like ‘The Tripper’, ‘Saw II’, ‘Joy Ride’ and the original ‘Fright Night’.


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