Sinister moustache sporting surly tweed wearing Simon Ashby will soon turn 21 and inherit the family seat. His twin brother Patrick was supposed to be the heir but he mysteriously vanished aged 13. Brat Farrar is unemployed; he bumps into creepy old man Alex on the street. Alex notes Brat’s resemblance to Simon and comes up with a plan.
Alex will coach Brat so he and his oily hair will masquerade as Patrick, claim the fortune and give Alex a payout. Brat objects but is won over by the idea of the Ashby family horses. Alex gives Brat maps and family facts to memorise, the days of pre-DNA test fortune stealing.
Brat goes to the Ashby family solicitors and claims to be Patrick. The idea that Patrick did not kill himself at 13 but ran away stuns everyone. The score gets overwrought; an aunt shows up and believes Brat is Patrick while sinister Simon rejects the very idea. Various snotty lazy Ashby kids sulk and a warm welcome for Brat does not await. Can Brat pull off the scam and what really happened to Patrick Ashby? This is okay but Mark Greenstreet as Simon/Brat isn’t the best actor.
“Doesn’t that man ever smile?”
“Only at the horses.”
“Simon wasn’t always heir.”
“A neat proposition, pity it’s so criminal.”
“I know that place down to the last pantry.”
“You want me to cheat that guy out of his inheritance by pretending to be his brother returned from the dead.”
“They’re jumped up yeomen with a minimum of breeding.”
“If anything should go wrong don’t count on me for help. Just start running.”
“Wrong doings made manifest.”
“Do you think there’ll be a scene?”
“Patrick shouldn’t have come back.”
“The whole set up stinks.”
“He’s not Patrick and never will be.”
A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal
Jesse is selling his house. Walt and Jesse have to make meth to sell to the “insane ass clown dead eyed killer” Tuco. Skyler learns her sister is a crazy shoplifter thanks to a white gold baby tiara. Walt and Jesse steal stuff, mix chemicals during an open house and see just how crazy Tuco is. This was okay.
“You look like Lex Luthor.”
“So what, you selling your house?”
“I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushy and flushed down my toilet.”
“This is like a non-criminals idea of a drug meet.”
“Psycho lunatic Tuco comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.”
“Talk is talk. But owning me money? That’s bad.”