epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Tape Tales and Stuff

What on earth has become of the ‘Eli Monpress’ series?

I have put ‘Juggernaut’ to the side for the moment and am reading ‘Communion Blood’.

‘Jericho’ season 4 comic coming soon! Yay!

‘The Glades’ 1x01 was crud.

Cleared out two tapes. One from 1997 and one from 2001. Let us begin this week’s adventures in VHS with the 1997 tape. It began with a ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ ep ‘Year of Hell’ which saw a time ship flying around making temporal incursions while its crew showed off their shoddy acting. Janeway has horrible hair and is as ever oblivious to consequences. Voyager is battered to bits. Kurtwood Smith as the baddie o’the week plans to finish the job. This was sadly dull.

Best Line:
We must erase the entire species from time.”

Then came an ‘X Files’ two parter ‘Christmas Carol/Emily’ which Scully hangs out with her family and finds a little girl she thinks is Melissa’s daughter but there is a twist. This was dull and overly full of yapping, Scully being sad and the never really explained experiments on women.

Finally there was a season 5 ‘Babylon 5’ ep ‘Day of the Dead’ written by Neil Gaiman and guest starring Penn and Teller. The opening credits are awful, the comedy is unfunny, G’Kar rants, there is bad acting and various dead people pay a visit and make profound speeches. Elizabeth is skeletal with big hair and 20 years ago she was a junkie. Lennier is told the truth by the smirking Morden. The SFX are bad and there is way, way too much pontificating. Sheridan the pompous git needs to be shut up. How did Elizabeth not know who Kosh was? This was bad.

Best Line:
“No one should ever want to talk to the dead.”

The 2001 tape began with a ‘Charmed’ ep ‘Hyde School Reunion’ in which Phoebe goes to her high school reunion and is mocked because she was a shoplifting slut so she does bad magic stuff and gets away with it as always. Chris annoys. This was bad.

Then came a ‘Maximum Bob’ ep ‘Dead Babe Walking’ in which a death row inmate lives after a power cut but Judge Bob doesn’t believe in clemency. This was a tiresome rant full of a babbling pity party.

Best Lines:
“Moderates are just people who haven’t been mugged yet.”

“I don’t read books by people who ice pick their boyfriends to death.”

Then came another ‘Maximum Bob’ ep ‘Once Bitten’ is which Bob is accused of misadventures leading to a newspaper headline: ‘I’m no ass-biter’. Rednecks annoy and this was unfunny. Then came a season 6 ‘Xena Warrior Princess’ ep ‘When Fates Collide’ in which Caesar (Karl Urban overacting) reweaves the loom of fate. He’s now emperor of Rome with Brutus as his BFF, Alti as his priestess and Xena as his Empress. Being Caesar he naturally snatches defeat from the jaws of victory.

He has everything he ever wanted and yet everything he touches turns into something ugly and nasty. He orders Xena executed, kills his BFF and then gets done in by Alti. Joxer (sigh) is a Roman solider, there are silly fights and a stupid ending. This aimed high but hit low.

Best Lines:
“More drivel from old men with tricky names.”

“No matter what life you live you’ll always be scum.”

Then came a boring ‘Andromeda’ ep ‘All Too Human’ with cheesy SFX, Rommie runs around on a world that hates AIs and Bruce Hardwood guest stars. Finally there was another season 6 ‘Xena Warrior Princess’ ep ‘Many Happy Returns’ which had unfunny comedy, stupid fights and fluff. This was stupid.
Tags: babylon 5, jericho, star trek, tape tales, thoughts, xfiles

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