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Movie Reviews: The Man In The Iron Mask + Below

The Man In The Iron Mask (1998)

This is not accurate to the book or historical fact but is still a very very good film. In 1662 King Louis XIV (Leonardo DiCaprio) is mean but the faithful D’Artagnan (Gabriel Byrne) serves him loyally. But Aramis (Jeremy Irons), Athos (John Malkovich) and Porthos (Gerard Depardieu) have a plan to replace the king.

They all have a reason to take part, sort of. Aramis has a cunning plan. The hard Athos hates Louis for the death of his wet son Raoul (Peter Sarsgard) and Porthos tags along to make boob and fart jokes. Meanwhile D’Artagnan watches over the uncaring Louis, makes eyes with Queen Anne who despite being Dowager Queen of France dresses like a nun and has only one attendant.

This has a number of continuity errors but one can overlook that due to the bombastic soundtrack and good acting. The petulant child Louis rolls around in bed with his mistress Christine. Meanwhile Armais and co stage an improbable prison break. Aramis locuta est, causa finita est.

The dewy eyed lip trembling Philippe enters the plot. But I’m more interested in D’Artagnan of whom Queen Anne is fond, very fond. Edward Atterton and Hugh Laurie pop up in brief roles. The gang put on their cool black uniforms for the big climax as the odious little twit/toxic social threat Louis gets his.

Best Lines:
Some of this is legend.”

“You dead yet?”

“One for all D’Artagnan.”
“And all for one.”

“His Majesty is experiencing some difficulty with the Jesuits.”

“Then God go with you for none of us will.”

“If he has become our enemy, we should ask ourselves why.”

“If they are a threat then we need no seek them out. They will find us.”
“Not if you find them first.”

“A king you hate.”
“Not everyone hates him.”

“He was the best of us all.”


~
Below (2002)


The USS Tiger Shark submarine patrols the Atlantic in 1943. They pick up three survivors from a torpedoed hospital ship. There is tension and the survivors only add to it.

Brice (Bruce Greenwood) is unravelling and survivors Kingsley (Dexter Fletcher) and Claire (Olivia Williams of ‘Dollhouse’) grow concerned and suspicious. Something happened on the sub. Coors (Scott Foley of ‘Scream 3’) also knows something is up and it has to do with the death of the sub’s old CO Winters. Creepy stuff happens and a terrible secret comes out.

This was okay but I got more enjoyment out of watching Nigel Harman’s bizarre ITV drama ‘The Outsiders’ back in 06.
Tags: dollhouse, movie review, musketeers, star trek
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