epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: House of Wax + Coraline

House of Wax (2005)

A coterie of thickos and pervs encounter backwoods savages/wax enthusiasts in this okay horror. The victims in waiting are enormous festering polyps of bottomless chasms of misplaced arrogance who deservedly run across male barbarism in the woods. Cue chat, chat, sex, kill, hot wax.

The heroine’s pseudo intellectual boyfriend is offed, the heroine’s stupid twin brother lives as he’s played by the bloke who used to be on ‘One Tree Hill’ and Paris Hilton is the thrush inducing Bratz doll come to life who gets chased and killed. Anyone you wish dead soon is - mostly in a welter of more wax than blood.

This has a ropey plot, trite dialogue, is clunky and no one has any suspicion of the strange little town with the over elaborate wax museum. Plus in the big climax the two survivors are not bothered by the fire or melting wax at all. There is also good/evil twin unsubtleness and more hysteria than a ‘Surviving Disaster’ ep. It is still better than ‘The Cabin In The Woods’.

Coraline (2009)

Coraline moves into a new home with her disinterested parents in this animated film. She finds a mysterious doorway and encounters her other-mother who is fun and caring. But Coraline soon notices that the other world isn’t so wonderful and other-mother has a scary aneurysm face. With the help of a wise cat Coraline must save herself and others. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Mustn’t talk when mother’s not here.”

“She lured us away.”

“Perhaps they’ve grown bored of you and run away to France.”
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